Harland Williams

Harland Williams

  • Highest Rated: 85% Wag the Dog (1997)
  • Lowest Rated: 9% My Life in Ruins (2009)
  • Birthday: Nov 14, 1962
  • Birthplace: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
  • An unpredictable comic whose talents as an artist and writer of children's books frequently goes unnoticed in favor of such antics as appearing on the Late Show With David Letterman in peanut butter-covered boots, Harland Williams set the tone for his cinematic career as a urine-chugging state trooper in the Farrelly brothers' sophomoric smash Dumb and Dumber (1994).Born in Toronto, Ontario, the artistically inclined Williams aimed to refine his passion for drawing and painting at Canada's prestigious Sheridan College in Oakville, Ontario. Childlike curiosity combined with his love of art drove Williams to create a series of popular children's books in which a similarly curious young dinosaur named Lickety Split embarks on a series of amazing adventures and learns important life lessons in the process. Finding a creative outlet in poetry and painting while working as a forest ranger for five years after dropping out of Sheridan College, Williams set his goals to leave the forest as a standup comic and actor, soon moving to L.A. to pursue his newfound calling.After his memorable debut in Dumb and Dumber, Williams appeared briefly in the television series Simon before attempting a starring vehicle with Disney's Rocketman in 1997. Trashed by critics and largely ignored by audiences, Rocketman may not have launched Williams' career into the stratosphere, but it did result in a number of memorably comedic roles in such popular comedies as Half-Baked (1998) and There's Something About Mary (1998). The new millennium also proved to be a busy year for Williams in both his career as a standup and an actor: serving as host of Comedy Central's Premium Blend, appearing in the Geena Davis Show, The Whole Nine Yards, and as an abrasive tyrant television star who learns the true value of love in Becoming Dick. In 2001, Williams appeared as the compound-fractured friend of a spastic Tom Green in Freddy Got Fingered. The following year found Williams as a gender-bending college student alongside co-stars Barry Watson and Michael Rosenbaum in Sorority Boys.

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

No Score Yet The Turkey Bowl Nolan 2019
83% Sausage Party Ketchup/Drug Dealer/Baba Ganoush $97.7M 2016
11% Back in the Day Skunk 2014
No Score Yet Lloyd The Conqueror Actor 2011
No Score Yet Spooky Buddies Warwick 2011
No Score Yet Dahmer vs. Gacy God 2010
9% My Life in Ruins Big Al $8.5M 2009
60% Heckler Actor 2008
No Score Yet Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation Derek 2008
No Score Yet Harland Williams: Child Wild Screenwriter Actor 2008
67% Meet the Robinsons Carl $97.7M 2007
20% The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning Rosco P. Coltrane 2007
No Score Yet Holidaze: The Christmas That Almost Didn't Happen Albert 2006
20% Employee of the Month Russell $28.4M 2006
No Score Yet Surf School Rip 2006
No Score Yet Hot Tamale Dep. Moseby 2006
No Score Yet Harland Williams: What a Treat Actor 2006
64% Robots Lug $128.2M 2005
55% Because of Winn-Dixie Policeman $32.6M 2005
No Score Yet Lucky 13 Bleckman 2004
40% Kart Racer Zee 2002
12% Sorority Boys Doofer $10.2M 2002
No Score Yet Back by Midnight Sheriff Hubbard 2002
No Score Yet The Santa Claus Brothers Daryl Claus 2001
10% Freddy Got Fingered Darren $13.8M 2001
No Score Yet Insane Clown Posse: Big Money Hustla$ - The Movie Officer Harry Cox 2000
45% The Whole Nine Yards Officer Steve $57.3M 2000
32% Superstar Slater 1999
77% The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland Actor 1999
83% There's Something About Mary Hitchhiker 1998
36% Dog Park Callum 1998
29% Half Baked Kenny Davis 1998
No Score Yet Mr. Headmistress Tucker/Ms. Naomi Bascombe 1998
85% Wag the Dog Pet Wrangler 1997
21% RocketMan Fred Z. Randall 1997
12% Down Periscope Sonar 1996
67% Dumb and Dumber State Trooper 1994
No Score Yet Fudgy Wudgy Fudge Face Director Screenwriter

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

No Score Yet Puppy Dog Pals
2017
Creator
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest
  • 2018
No Score Yet This Is Not Happening
2015
Performer
  • 2018
No Score Yet Skylanders Academy
2016-2018
Voice
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
No Score Yet Conan
2010
Guest
  • 2017
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2011
No Score Yet Nick Swardson's Pretend Time
2010-2011
Appearing
  • 2010
No Score Yet Last Call With Carson Daly
2007
Guest
  • 2009
No Score Yet Tosh.0
2009
Appearing
  • 2009
No Score Yet Slacker Cats
2007-2009
Voice
  • 2009
  • 2007
25% Thank God You're Here
2007
Performer
  • 2007
No Score Yet Last Comic Standing
2003-2015
Performer
  • 2007
  • 2004
No Score Yet Comedy Central Presents
1998-2011
Performer
  • 2005
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest Performer
  • 2002
11% The Geena Davis Show
2000-2001
Alan
  • 2001
  • 2000

QUOTES FROM Harland Williams CHARACTERS

Fred Z. Randall
It wasn't me!
Fred Z. Randall
Mommy! I Want my mommy!
Russell
True. I knew a guy in upper management, man, went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.
Russell
True. I knew a guy in upper management. Man went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot, and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.
Russell
Jesus Christ. Where the hell are we, Chuck E. Cheese-istian?
Russell
Jesus Christ. Where the hell are we, Chuck E. Cheese-istan?
Russell
Check it out guy, he's the alpha male of the store... chicks always go after the alpha male, they're like lions... kings of the desert. And you, you're just a little tiny field mouse dangling in the teeth of the lion while he's banging your chick. Oh wait a minute... box boy, you're like the little hairy nutsack on the little hairy field mouse swinging back and forth while he's banging your chick.
Russell
You're like the drummer from REO Speedwagon. Nobody knows who you are.
Russell
Oh yeah, that picture goes up on the wall she slides into the sack faster than a singed Koala bear looking for an all night burn center.
State Trooper
Yeah, well you aware it's against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the state of Pennsylvania? Come on give me them booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak!
Harry Dunne
No sir way, way, way, way way!
Lloyd Christmas
No sir don't drink tha...
State Trooper
You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew it was good for you buddy. (Takes sip. swallows)
State Trooper
You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew it was good for you buddy. [takes sip. swallows]
Harry Dunne
Tic-Tac Sir?
State Trooper
Get the hell out of here
State Trooper
Get the hell out of here.
Hitchhiker
seven's the key number hear think about it, seven eleven seven dwarfes, seven man thats the number, seven chipmonks twirling on a branch eating lots of sun flowers on my uncles ranch, you know that old childrens tale from the sea its like dreaming about gorganzolla cheese when its clearly brie time baby, step into my office.?
Hitchhiker
Seven's the key number hear think about it, seven eleven seven dwarfes, seven man thats the number, seven chipmonks twirling on a branch eating lots of sun flowers on my uncles ranch, you know that old childrens tale from the sea its like dreaming about gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly brie time baby, step into my office?
Ted Stroehmann
why.?
Ted Stroehmann
Why?
Hitchhiker
cause your fucking fired.
Hitchhiker
Cause your fucking fired.
Ted Stroehmann
yeah you know what i gotta pee im just gonna pull over.
Ted Stroehmann
Yeah you know what I gotta pee, I'm just gonna pull over.
Hitchhiker
im only waiting seven minutes total.
Hitchhiker
I'm only waiting seven minutes total.
State Trooper
You'd shut your mouth if you knew what was good for ya!!
State Trooper
You'd shut your mouth if you knew what was good for ya!