Jamie Kennedy

Jamie Kennedy

  • Highest Rated: 94% Three Kings (1999)
  • Lowest Rated: 2% Kickin' It Old Skool (2007)
  • Birthday: May 25, 1970
  • Birthplace: Not Available
  • An actor whose name became synonymous with "comic relief" during the late 1990s, Jamie Kennedy made his reputation playing a series of wise-asses in such films as the Scream trilogy and the independent comedy Clockwatchers. Born in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, on May 25, 1970, Kennedy showed comedic inclinations from an early age, and first became inspired to pursue an acting career when he was cast as an extra in Dead Poets Society (1989). After high school, Kennedy moved to L.A., where he wanted to have a career as an extra. Unfortunately, Hollywood casting agents had other ideas, and the aspiring actor found himself working odd jobs ranging from a restaurant busboy to a gum-scraper at K-Mart. During this time, he also studied at the American/British Drama Academy and began finding stand-up work at various improv clubs. It was in one of these clubs that he caught the attention of an independent filmmaker and was subsequently cast in the little-seen The Legend of Flin Flon. The actor's bona fide entry into the film industry came with a supporting role in Baz Luhrmann's 1996 William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet, in which he played a fuchsia-haired thug. That same year he had a huge breakthrough in Wes Craven's Scream, which cast him as a video store clerk with an unnerving lust for horror movies. The great success of the film opened a number of doors for Kennedy, one of which led to a memorable role as an office boy in Jill Sprecher's well-received independent comedy Clockwatchers (1997), which also starred Lisa Kudrow, Parker Posey, and Toni Collette. The actor also reprised his role for the inevitable Scream 2 (1997) and Scream 3 (2000) and appeared in such slacker extravaganzas as Bongwater and Starf*cker (both 1998).Kennedy got a shot at more grown-up fare with a supporting role in David O. Russell's acclaimed Gulf War drama Three Kings (1999), and a turn as a movie studio gofer in the satirical Bowfinger (1999). His growing popularity was reflected in the number of projects he was involved with in 2000; included amongst them were Ben Younger's The Boiler Room, in which Kennedy played an ambitious young stock broker, and The Specials, an ensemble comedy that cast him as a member of a motley group of superheroes.He appeared in the movies Max Keeble's Big Move and Bug before moving to the small screen to host the series The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. He was the star of the ill-fated sequel Son of the Mask and he was one of the voiceover artists in the comedy Farce of the Penguins. His other projects include Malibu's Most Wanted, Finding Bliss, and Tyler Perry's Good Deeds.

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

30% Trick Dr. Steven 2019
No Score Yet Heart, Baby! Actor 2018
42% Spinning Man Ross 2018
No Score Yet Surviving the Wild Kristopher 2018
40% Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell Travis B. Welker 2018
No Score Yet Walk of Fame Hugo 2017
No Score Yet Surviving Compton: Dre, Suge & Michel'le Jerry Heller 2016
No Score Yet Little Savages Fritz 2016
No Score Yet Le trésor de Whittmore Fritz 2016
No Score Yet R.L. Stine's Mostly Ghostly: One Night in Doom House Simon 2016
No Score Yet Tremors 5: Bloodlines Travis Welker 2015
No Score Yet Rivers 9 Rob 2015
No Score Yet Other Plans Nathan Producer 2015
No Score Yet Buddy Hutchins Buddy Hutchins 2015
No Score Yet The Sand (Blood Sand) Alex 2015
No Score Yet Mission Air Actor 2014
No Score Yet Nowhere Safe Ashley Evans 2014
No Score Yet Bermuda Tentacles Dr. Zimmern 2014
No Score Yet Bro, What Happened? Actor 2014
No Score Yet Jackhammer Actor 2014
No Score Yet The Hungover Games Actor 2014
No Score Yet Clean Guys Of Comedy Actor 2013
No Score Yet Lost And Found In Armenia Bill $0.2M 2013
No Score Yet Bending the Rules Theo Gold 2012
34% Tyler Perry's Good Deeds Mark Freeze $35.1M 2012
No Score Yet Cupid Vernon Gart 2012
No Score Yet The Reef 2: High Tide Ronny 2012
No Score Yet On the Inside Producer 2011
No Score Yet Café Dealer 2010
30% Finding Bliss Dick Harder 2009
No Score Yet Curious George 2: Follow That Monkey! Actor 2009
No Score Yet Spring Break '83 Actor 2009
No Score Yet Extreme Movie Mateus 2008
60% Heckler Director Actor Producer 2008
14% Blonde Ambition Actor 2007
2% Kickin' It Old Skool Producer $4.5M 2007
No Score Yet Farce of the Penguins Jamie 2007
No Score Yet Jamie Kennedy: Unwashed: The Stand-Up Special Actor 2006
No Score Yet Dinotopia: Quest for the Ruby Sunstone Spazz 2005
6% Son of the Mask Tim Avery $17M 2005
No Score Yet Searching for Angela Shelton Executive Producer 2004
74% Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle Creepy Guy $18.3M 2004
31% Malibu's Most Wanted Screenwriter B-Rad $34.4M 2003
No Score Yet Bug Dwight 2002
No Score Yet Pretty When You Cry Albert Straka 2001
29% Max Keeble's Big Move Evil Ice Cream Man $16.6M 2001
52% Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back PA $29.9M 2001
42% Dr. Dolittle 2 Bandit/Forest Animal/Animal Groupie #1 $111.5M 2001
No Score Yet Sol Goode Justin Sax 2001
No Score Yet Slacker Cats Actor 2001
47% The Specials Amok Producer 2000
26% Bait Blum $15M 2000
66% Boiler Room Adam 2000
39% Scream 3 Randy Meeks 2000
94% Three Kings Walter 1999
81% Bowfinger Dave 1999
17% Sparkler Trent 1999
71% Enemy of the State Jamie 1998
83% Clockwatchers Eddie 1998
17% Bongwater Tommy 1998
No Score Yet Starstruck George 1998
No Score Yet Stricken Banyon 1998
No Score Yet The Pass Deputy Bank 1998
85% As Good as It Gets Street Hustler 1997
82% Scream 2 Randy Meeks 1997
No Score Yet On the Edge of Innocence Luke 1997
No Score Yet Pass Actor 1997
79% Scream Randy 1996
72% Romeo + Juliet Sampson 1996
No Score Yet Parental Guidance Suggested Actor

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

No Score Yet To Tell the Truth
2016
Panelist
  • 2017
87% Lucifer
2016
Andy Kleinburg
  • 2017
  • 2016
20% Heartbeat
2015
Dr. Callahan
  • 2016
No Score Yet Star vs. the Forces of Evil
2015
Voice
  • 2015
No Score Yet CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
2000-2015
Ed Kapena
  • 2014
No Score Yet Funniest Wins
2014
Appearing
  • 2014
No Score Yet The After
2014
  • 2014
No Score Yet The Soul Man
2012-2016
Kevin
  • 2013
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest
  • 2012
  • 2010
No Score Yet Fanboy & Chum Chum
2009-2012
Voice
  • 2012
  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2009
No Score Yet The Cleveland Show
2009-2013
Screenwriter Voice
  • 2012
  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2009
66% Entourage
2004-2011
Stevie
  • 2011
77% Eureka
2006-2012
Dr. Ramsey
  • 2010
No Score Yet The Wendy Williams Show
2008
Guest
  • 2010
No Score Yet The Bonnie Hunt Show
2008-2010
Guest
  • 2010
  • 2009
No Score Yet Ghost Whisperer
2005-2010
Eli Eli James
  • 2010
  • 2009
  • 2008
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest
  • 2009
No Score Yet Chelsea Lately
2007-2014
Guest
  • 2009
  • 2008
80% Reaper
2007-2009
  • 2008
No Score Yet Criminal Minds
2005
Floyd Feylinn Ferell
  • 2007
No Score Yet Criss Angel: Mindfreak
2005-2010
Appearing
  • 2007
No Score Yet MADtv
1995-2009
Guest
  • 2007
  • 2003
No Score Yet Mind of Mencia
2005-2008
Guest
  • 2006
75% Arrested Development
2003
Himself
  • 2006
  • 2005
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Guest
  • 2006
  • 2005
  • 2004
No Score Yet King of the Hill
1997-2010
Voice
  • 2004
  • 2003
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest
  • 2003
No Score Yet Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry
2001-2007
Performer
  • 2003
  • 2002
No Score Yet Night Visions
2001-2002
Mark Stevens
  • 2002
0% Stark Raving Mad
1999-2000
Doobs
  • 2000
No Score Yet Ellen
1994-1998
Tad
  • 1995

QUOTES FROM Jamie Kennedy CHARACTERS

Shondra
Damn! What happened to you?
Brad Gluckman
Shut up hoe.
Shondra
Hoe! Who you callin' a hoe, hoe?
Brad Gluckman
You hoe! The same hoe that gave that weak ass kiss 5 minutes ago in the bedroom.
PJ
Shondra?
Sean
I told you she liked white boys.
Randy Meeks
I'd let the geek, get the girl.
Walter Wogaman
Can I have my pants, please? Pants, on my legs.
Walter Wogaman
Military regulations, you cannot drive. Step away from the Chenoweth, ma'am. Don't make me shoot you, ma'am.
Mickey
The Empire Strikes Back. Better story, improved effects.
Randy Meeks
Not a sequel. Part of a trilogy. Completely planned.
Hallie
I like those little furry things.
Mickey
They're Ewoks. They blow.
Sidney Prescott
Three hundred people watched. Nobody did anything. They thought it was publicity stunt, for Christ's sakes.
Randy Meeks
[with Cockney accent] And it would have been a good one too.
Randy Meeks
And it would have been a good one too.
Sidney Prescott
It's starting again Randy.
Randy Meeks
[with Cockney accent again] It's not. A lot of shit happens at the movies. People get robbed, shot, maimed, murdered. Multiplex is just a very dangerous place to be these days.
Randy Meeks
It's not. A lot of shit happens at the movies. People get robbed, shot, maimed, murdered. Multiplex is just a very dangerous place to be these days.
Sidney Prescott
Yeah, and you are in extreme denial.
Sidney Prescott
Yeah and you are in extreme denial.
Dewey Riley
When did she started smoking?
Randy Meeks
Ever since those nude pictures on the internet.
Gale Weathers
It was just my head, it was Jennifer Aniston's body!
Randy Meeks
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to create a successful sequel. Number one: the body count is always bigger. Number two: the death scenes are always much more elaborate - more blood, more gore - *carnage candy*. And number three: never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead.
Randy Meeks
Did the police ask if you liked to hunt?
Tatum Riley
Why would they do that? They didn't ask me.
Stuart
Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.
Tatum Riley
That is so sexist. The killer could have easily been a female. Basic Instinct.
Stuart
That was an ice pick, not exactly the same thing.
Stuart
Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. In fact,it takes a man to do something like that.
Tatum Riley
Or a man's mentality.
Stuart
Why would he want to kill his own girlfriend?
Randy Meeks
There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.
Randy Meeks
[staring at Billy Loomis in the videostore] If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?
Sidney Prescott
Didn't you used to date Casey?
Stuart
Yeah, for, like, two seconds!
Randy Meeks
Til she dumped his ass for Steve!
Tatum Riley
(To Stu) I thought you dumped her for me...
Tatum Riley
[to Stu] I thought you dumped her for me...
Debbie Salt
(As Ghostface) What's your favorite scary movie?
Debbie Salt
[as Ghostface] What's your favorite scary movie?
Randy Meeks
Showgirls, absolutely terrifying!
Dewey Riley
Creepy Karen?
Randy Meeks
Shut up! She's a sweet person, okay? We were working late. We were putting away some videos in the porno section, and, you know, shit happens. (shouting and knocking from the door behind him) Fifteen minutes. (it continues) Paul, fifteen minutes! I'm leaving my legacy. (it continues) Fifteen minutes, Paul! Damn! Anyway, the reason I'm here is to help you so that my death will not be in vain. That my life's work will help save some other poor soul from getting mutilated. If this killer does come back, and he's for real, there are a few things that you gotta remember. Is this simply another sequel? Well, if it is, same rules apply. But, here's the critical thing. If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected back-story, and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules do not apply. Because you are not dealing with a sequel. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy. That's right. It's a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get-go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules. One: you've got a killer who's gonna be superhuman. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically, in the third one, you've gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. Number two: anyone, including the main character, can die. This means you, Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fucking Reservoir Dogs by the time this thing is through. Number three: the past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest! Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. (long pause) So in closing, let me say...good luck, godspeed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't. Not if you're watching this tape (the video promptly ends)
Randy Meeks
Shut up! She's a sweet person, okay? We were working late. We were putting away some videos in the porno section, and, you know, shit happens. (shouting and knocking from the door behind him) Fifteen minutes. (it continues) Paul, fifteen minutes! I'm leaving my legacy. (it continues) Fifteen minutes, Paul! Damn! Anyway, the reason I'm here is to help you so that my death will not be in vain. That my life's work will help save some other poor soul from getting mutilated. If this killer does come back, and he's for real, there are a few things that you gotta remember. Is this simply another sequel? Well, if it is, same rules apply. But, here's the critical thing. If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected back-story, and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules do not apply. Because you are not dealing with a sequel. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy. That's right. It's a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get-go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules. One: you've got a killer who's gonna be superhuman. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically, in the third one, you've gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. Number two: anyone, including the main character, can die. This means you, Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fucking Reservoir Dogs by the time this thing is through. Number three: the past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest! Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. (long pause) So in closing, let me say...good luck, godspeed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't. Not if you're watching this tape (the video promptly ends).
Randy Meeks
Maybe wouldn't have sex with him...
Stuart
what, is she savin' herself for you?
Stuart
What, is she savin' herself for you?
Randy Meeks
maybe.
Randy Meeks
Maybe.
Theo Gold
Technically no. But he did order a lot of donuts.
Randy Meeks
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance: 1. You can never have sex. The minute you get a little nookie--you're as good as gone. Sex always equals death. 2. Never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one. And 3. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say "I'll be right back."
Randy Meeks
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance: 1. You can never have sex. The minute you get a little nookie--you're as good as gone. Sex always equals death. 2. Never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one. And 3. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say 'I'll be right back.'
Major Archie Gates
Though's don't work in the day time
Major Archie Gates
Though's don't work in the day time.
Walter Wogaman
They kinda do
Walter Wogaman
They kinda do.
Randy Meeks
can't you see she's planning for her next book, that's what reporter's do Dewey, they stage the news!
Randy Meeks
Can't you see she's planning for her next book, that's what reporter's do Dewey, they stage the news!
Dewey Riley
No, Gale's a lot of things, but gale's not a killer...
Randy Meeks
com'on just because your sweet on her...
Randy Meeks
Com'on just because your sweet on her...
Dewey Riley
no I'm not..
Dewey Riley
No I'm not..
Randy Meeks
Please! this is me,talking Randy, the unrequited love slave of Sidney Prescott, know all about obsession (shows his bullet shut to Dewey) and pain...
Randy Meeks
Please! this is me,talking Randy, the unrequited love slave of Sidney Prescott, know all about obsession [shows his bullet shut to Dewey] and pain...
Dave
But movies cost millions of dollars to make.
Bobby Bowfinger
That's after gross net deduction profit percentage deferment ten percent of the nut. Cash, every movie cost $2,184.
Randy Meeks
(Randy answered the cellphone)Gale's not here!
Randy Meeks
[Randy answered the cellphone] Gale's not here!
Mickey
(with the voice of ghostface) I'm not interrupting anything am i? you little three are deep in thought, have you ever felt the knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath.... hehehehe....
Mickey
[with the voice of ghostface] I'm not interrupting anything am I? you little three are deep in thought, have you ever felt the knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath.... hehehehe....
Brad Gluckman
Traffic traffic Looking for my chapstick Feeling kinda carsick There's a ford maverick
Brad Gluckman
Traffic traffic Looking for my chapstick Feeling kinda carsick There's a ford maverick.
Evil Ice Cream Man
I want my coil.
Dobbs
I want my handheld!
Evil Ice Cream Man
What'd you say, punk?
Dobbs
I said "I want my handheld."
Dobbs
I said 'I want my handheld.'
Evil Ice Cream Man
You want your handheld?
Dobbs
Yeah. You heard me. I said "I want my handheld."
Dobbs
Yeah. You heard me. I said 'I want my handheld.'
Evil Ice Cream Man
You want me to hold your hand?
Dobbs
No!
Evil Ice Cream Man
Need somebody to hold his hand! Little baby! Little baby!
Randy Meeks
What's your favorite scary movie?
Mickey
[as Ghostface] You'll never find me!
Randy Meeks
Yeah, what do you care? Let them have their fun.
Mickey
[as Ghostface] What's your favorite scary movie?
Randy Meeks
Showgirls. Absolutely frightening.
Randy Meeks
[Gale's phone rings and Randy answers it] Gale's not here!
Mickey
[as Ghostface] I'm not interrupting anything, am I? You three look deep in thought. Have you ever felt a knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath? [maniacal laugh]
Randy Meeks
It's him.
Dewey Riley
Who?
Randy Meeks
The killer. He can see us. All three of us.
Randy Meeks
[discussing with Dewey who is the killer] Hallie.
Dewey Riley
Sid's roommate? No, serial killers are typically white male.
Randy Meeks
That's why it's perfect. It's sort of against the rules, but not really. Mrs. Voorhees was a terrific serial killer, and there's always room for Candyman's daughter. She's sweet, she's deadly, she's bad for your teeth.
Randy Meeks
Don't ever, EVER say I'll be right back, cause you won't be back.
Stuart
I'm getting another beer, want one?.
Stuart
I'm getting another beer, want one?
Randy Meeks
Yes, sure.
Randy Meeks
Yeah, sure.
Stuart
I'll be right back!.
Stuart
I'll be right back!
Dewey Riley
Trilogy?
Randy Meeks
That's right, it's a rarity in the horror field but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules: 1. You got a killer who's going to be super human. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically in the third one you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. 2. Anyone including the main character can die. This means you Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fu**ing "Reservoir Dogs" by the time this thing is through. Number 3. The past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest. Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. So in closing, let me say good luck, god speed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't, not if you're watching this tape.
Randy Meeks
That's right, it's a rarity in the horror field but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true. So if it is a trilogy you are dealing with, here are some super trilogy rules: 1. You got a killer who's going to be super human. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically in the third one you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. 2. Anyone including the main character can die. This means you Sid. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fu**ing 'Reservoir Dogs' by the time this thing is through. Number 3. The past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest. Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you. So in closing, let me say good luck, god speed, and for some of you, I'll see you soon. 'Cause the rules say some of you ain't gonna make it. I didn't, not if you're watching this tape.
Randy Meeks
A lot of sh*t happens at the movies, people get robbed, shot, maimed, murdered. Multiplexes are very dangerous places to be these days.
Randy Meeks
It's deputy Dew...Woodsboro's finest! What's he doing here?
Randy Meeks
It's deputy Dew. Woodsboro's finest! What's he doing here?
Dewey Riley
Typically, serial killers are white male.
Randy Meeks
That's why it's perfect! It's sort of against the rules but not really. Mrs. Voorhees was a terrific serial killer, and there's always room for Candyman's daughter. She's sweet, she's deadly, she's bad for your teeth.
Randy Meeks
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to create a successful sequel. Number one: the body count is always bigger. Number two: the death scenes are always much more elaborate - more blood, more gore - "carnage candy". And number three: never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead.
Randy Meeks
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to create a successful sequel. Number one: the body count is always bigger. Number two: the death scenes are always much more elaborate - more blood, more gore - 'carnage candy'. And number three: never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead.
Randy Meeks
Mickey, the freaky Tarantino film student. But if he's a suspect, so am I. Let's move on.
Dewey Riley
Wait a minute. Maybe you are a suspect.
Randy Meeks
Well if I'm a suspect, you're a suspect.
Dewey Riley
Good point. Okay, let's move on...
Dewey Riley
Good point. Okay, let's move on.
Mickey
Empire Strikes Back. Better story, improved effects.
Randy Meeks
Not a sequel, part of a trilogy, completely planned.
Randy Meeks
Oh yeah? We'll let's re-direct the moment Mr. "I'm So Original". Where's your motivation? Huh? Why copy yourself off of two high school loser ass di*kheads? Stu was a pussy ass wet rag...And Billy Loomis? Billy Loomis, what the f**k? Jesus! Talk about a rat looking homo repressed momma's boy! Why not set your goals higher huh? You wanna be one of the big boys! Huh? Manson, Bundy, O.J.
Randy Meeks
Oh yeah? We'll let's re-direct the moment Mr. 'I'm So Original'. Where's your motivation? Huh? Why copy yourself off of two high school loser ass di*kheads? Stu was a pussy ass wet rag. And Billy Loomis? Billy Loomis, what the f**k? Jesus! Talk about a rat looking homo repressed momma's boy! Why not set your goals higher huh? You wanna be one of the big boys! Huh? Manson, Bundy, O.J.
Mickey
(OR DEBBIE SALT?) - Why are you even here Randy? You'll never be the leading man.
Mickey
Why are you even here Randy? You'll never be the leading man.
Randy Meeks
Fuuuuuuu*k you!
Randy Meeks
Fu*k you!
Mickey
(OR DEBBIE SALT?) No matter how hard you try you'll never be the hero and you'll never ever get the girl.
Mickey
No matter how hard you try you'll never be the hero and you'll never ever get the girl.
Randy Meeks
(when asked how he'd make a horror movie different?) - ...I'd let the geek get the girl.
Randy Meeks
(when asked how he'd make a horror movie different?) I'd let the geek get the girl.
Randy Meeks
Sorry. So, what's your favorite scary movie? The Dorm that Dripped Blood, The House on Sorority Row, Graduation Day?
Randy Meeks
Sidney, look, it's Gale Weathers.
Sidney Prescott
What?
Randy Meeks
Star of the Gale Weathers press conference...Author of the press conference starring Gale Weathers. Soon to be a major motion picture starring Gale Weathers!
Randy Meeks
Star of the Gale Weathers press conference. Author of the press conference starring Gale Weathers. Soon to be a major motion picture starring Gale Weathers!
Randy Meeks
I cannot believe it. They get Tori Spelling to play Sid, and they cast Joe Blow Nobody to play me. At least you get David Schwimmer. I get the guy who drove the stagecoach for one episode of Dr. Quinn!
Dewey Riley
When did she start smoking?
Randy Meeks
Ever since those nude pictures on the internet.
Gale Weathers
It was just my head...it was Jennifer Aniston's body!
Gale Weathers
It was just my head. It was Jennifer Aniston's body!
Dewey Riley
Look, Gale's no killer.
Randy Meeks
Okay, all right then, but if she's not a killer, she's a target.
Randy Meeks
Get a room!
Mickey
(OR DEBBIE SALT?) - What's your favorite scary movie?
Mickey
What's your favorite scary movie?
Randy Meeks
Showgirls...absolutely frightening.
Randy Meeks
Showgirls. Absolutely frightening.
Sidney Prescott
The Fog, Terror Train, Prom Night. How come Jamie Lee Curtis is in all of these movies?
Randy Meeks
She's the "Scream Queen"!
Randy Meeks
She's the 'Scream Queen'!
Stuart
Yeah with a set of lungs like that, she should be.
Tatum Riley
Tits! See?
Stuart
I didn't kill anybody.
Billy Loomis
Nobody said you did.
Stuart
Thanks buddy!
Randy Meeks
Besides..."It takes a MAN to do something like that!"
Randy Meeks
Besides, 'It takes a MAN to do something like that!
Stuart
Yeah I ought to gut your ass in a second, kid.
Randy Meeks
Tell me something. Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.
Stuart
Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.
Tatum Riley
That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female...Basic Instinct?
Tatum Riley
That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female. Basic Instinct?
Randy Meeks
That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing.
Stuart
Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. In fact, it takes a man to do something like that.
Randy Meeks
We had a run in the mass murder section.
Randy Meeks
Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare.
Sidney Prescott
(shoots Billy after he rises up) - Not in my movie.
Sidney Prescott
(shoots Billy after he rises up) Not in my movie.
Stuart
You know who I think it is? I think it's her father. Why can't they find her pops man?
Randy Meeks
Because, he's probably dead. His body will come popping up in the last reel somewhere! Eyes gouged out! Fingers cut off! Teeth knocked out! See, the police are always off track with this sh*t. If they'd watch Prom Night they'd save time. There's a formula to it! A very simple formula! Everybody's a suspect! I'm telling you, the dad's a red herring. It's Billy.
Randy Meeks
There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex. (crowd boo's)...BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs...The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Randy Meeks
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex. (crowd boo's) BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs. The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, 'I'll be right back.' Because you won't be back.
Stuart
I'm getting another beer, you want one?
Randy Meeks
Yeah, sure.
Stuart
I'll be RIIIIIGGGGHHHHT BAAAAAACK!
Randy Meeks
See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
Randy Meeks
There's always some stupid bullsh*t reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.
Randy Meeks
It's the millennium. Motives are incidental.
Sidney Prescott
Oh, my God. Randy I thought you were dead.
Randy Meeks
I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin.
Randy Meeks
Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sid would go out with me?
Stuart
HA-HA! No...I don't...at all!
Stuart
HA-HA! No. I don't, at all!
Randy Meeks
Look, here comes the obligatory tit shot.
Stuart
As if. That's all I'm saying...as if.
Stuart
As if. That's all I'm saying, as if.
Randy Meeks
Oh, really, Alicia?
Randy Meeks
If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?
Randy Meeks
If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath, would you be standing in the horror section?
Randy Meeks
(to Stu; about Billy) - What's Leatherface doing here?
Randy Meeks
(to Stu; about Billy) What's Leatherface doing here?
Stuart
So what are you saying is...that I killed her?
Stuart
So what are you saying is, that I killed her?
Randy Meeks
It certainly would improve your high school "Q"
Randy Meeks
It certainly would improve your high school 'Q'.
Tatum Riley
Stu was with me last night, okay?
Stuart
Yeah, I was.
Randy Meeks
Was that before or after he sliced and diced?!
Stuart
I wanna see breasts. I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?
Randy Meeks
Breasts? Not until "Trading Places" in '83. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.
Randy Meeks
Breasts? Not until 'Trading Places' in '83. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.
Randy Meeks
Listen up. They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field. (Drunk Teen: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go over there before they pry him down!)
Randy Meeks
Listen up. They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field.
Randy Meeks
Never, ever, ever, under any circunstances say : "I'll be right back"; 'cause you won't be back.
Randy Meeks
Never, ever, ever, under any circunstances say, 'I'll be right back', cause you won't be back.
Stuart
I'm getting another beer; you want one ?
Stuart
I'm getting another beer, you want one ?
Randy Meeks
Yeah sure.
Stuart
I'll be right back !!!
Stuart
I'll be right back!