Nick Frost

Your a doctor deal with it.

Yeah motherfucker.

He's gonna be dead either way.

Fire engine?

It's one number and it's busy! And what do you want a fire engine for?

Anything with flashing lights.

Who the hell put this on?

It's on random

It's on random.

What about Ed? There's only two shells.

I don't mind being eaten

I don't mind being eaten.

I'm not gonna say if you love her let her go and I'm not gonna bombard you with clichés but what I will say is this...it's not the end of the world.

You've got red on you.

Ed, don't exacerbate things!

What's that mean?

you alright noddle

You alright noddle?

Oh fuck this, I'm going to the shed!

I thought you said it was locked?

(Jumps through the shed door)

Bet Pete would be pissed if he knew I was driving his car.

I don't think so.

It's not hip-hop, it's Electro. Fucking prick. Next time I see him he's dead.

It's four in the fucking morning!

It's saturday!

No it's not. It's fucking sunday,and i've got to go to work in four fucking hours. Because every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill. So can you see why i'm so fucking angry!?

Fuck ya!

Oh God. Who the hell put this on?

(crying) It's on random.

[crying] It's on random.

Did you take care of him?

I threw him in the freezer.

Awwww... you shoulda said 'Cool off'.

Well, you missed it earlier when I distracted him with the monkey and knocked him out and said 'Playtime's over'.

You're up the fuckin' CHAIN!

HELP!! We're all going to drown!

Your a water animal...you can swim.

ohh...Thank You so much!

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

So...

Maybe they were all accidents.

What's new, fatty?

It's not fat, Paul, it's power. So rude!

Pete.... Pete

Pete... Pete.

Oy Prick!

(both of them) he's not in ...

[both of them] He's not in...

Have you ever fired two guns while jumping in the air?

No.

Have you ever fired one gun while jumping in the air?

You ain't seen "Bad Boys II"?

You ain't seen 'Bad Boys II'?

Even if it is an alien invasion, they're four foot high, blind and got kicked to death by a bunch of kids. We got nothing to worry about.

Are there any questions?

Is it true that there's a point on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?

Sorry I didn't mean to upset the apple-kart.

Ya, cause we all sell apples round here don't we.

Your dad sells apples Andy.

And rasberries.

How's Mike?

He's in the freezer.

Did you say 'cool off'?

No i didn't say anything, actually.

Shame.

We're going to Ron's weed room.

What's Ron's weed room?

It's a big room, full of weed...and it's Ron's.

Call me Lorenzo.

Lorenzo Zoil?

[Ed is driving Philip's Jaguar very fast, dodging other cars as he tries to escape the zombies] [pompously] You *do* realise this is a 20 mph zone?

[grinning] Oh yeah!

My, how you've grown!

Yeah, you'd better believe it.

You've got red on you.

Do you want anything from the shop?

Cornetto.

Don't forget to kill Philip!

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

"WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBERA!!!"

WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA!

Hey, Shaun, look who it is!

FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

"Great scott! Bowler hats are half priced!"

Great scott! Bowler hats are half priced!

"Really Thompson! This is hardly the time...Great Scott!"

Really Thompson! This is hardly the time...Great Scott!

"What?"

What?

"Caine's are half priced too!"

Caine's are half priced too!

"Actually it was childishly simple."

Actually it was childishly simple.

"I agree. Simply childish.''

I agree. Simply childish.

I'm sort of a kleptomaniac...

Kleptomaniac?

It's a fear of open spaces.

No wonder why he keeps all his wallets in the living room!

Great Scott!

What is it?!

There's a half price sale on bowler hats!

Oh, shut up! We have no time for this! ... Great Scott!

What?!

There's a half price sale on canes, too!

2 Seconds.

Two seconds.

Thompson, where are you?

Well I'm already downstairs, do try to keep up!

So tell us Mark, now at the very end - what was your secret? How did you get all them girls?

Simple. Don't say anything at all.

Nothing?

Nothing. Then, when the tension becomes too much to bear, you finally, finally, you just say: "How about it, then?"

Nothing. Then, when the tension becomes too much to bear, you finally, finally, you just say: 'How about it, then?'

There's a Alien in the back making bagels and coffee!

Why you want tea?

Any zombies out there?

"Well I'm already down the stairs, Thompson. Do try to keep up."

Well I'm already down the stairs, Thompson. Do try to keep up.

What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our ANUS?

Apparently they don't do that.

This is murder!

It's not murder, it's ketchup.

It's not murder, it's ketchup.

No, it's ketchup!

It's Frank! He's appointed himself Judge, Jury and Executioner.

It's Frank! He's appointed himself Judge, Jury and Executioner.

It's Frank! He's appointed himself judge, jury and executioner!

It's Frank! He's appointed himself Judge, Jury and Executioner.

He is not Judge Judy and executioner!

[agitated and defensive] He is not Judge Judy and Executioner.

Right. Can I buy any of you cunts, a drink?

Can I get any of you cunts... a drink?

I'm starving...

I'm starving.

What's new, fatty?

It's not fat, Paul, it's power. You're so rude...

It's not fat, Paul. It's power. You're so rude.

[running to police car] I'll drive!

SHOTGUN!

Punch!... That!... Shit!

They are going to rape us and break our arms!

I don't want my arms broke!

Get your own alien

Get your own alien.

Have you ever fired your gun up in the air gone aaaggghh?

Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone ahh?

No I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone aaagghh!

No, I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone, ahhh!

The Batman Soundtrack?

The 'Batman' soundtrack?

Throw it

Throw it.

Two Seconds

Two seconds!

Lovely fireworks.

I want to do what you do!

You do do what I do! What on earth do you think your missing out on?

Gun fights, car chases. Proper action & shit!

Police work is not about proper action. Or shit!

Ok. What about him then? Why's he got his hat down?

He's fuck ugly.

Or he doesn't want you to see his face.

Because he's fuck ugly.