Seth Rogen

Seth Rogen

  • Highest Rated: 93% 50/50 (2011)
  • Lowest Rated: 17% The Watch (2012)
  • Birthday: Apr 15, 1982
  • Birthplace: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
  • Canadian-born actor Seth Rogen tapped into his skills as a comedian when he was only 13, signing up for comedy classes and honing his deadpan style. He tooled around as an amateur for a few years but eventually took his act down south, hoping to find success as an actor and standup comedian in the U.S. He was soon discovered by Judd Apatow and was cast in his short-lived series Freaks and Geeks. After its cancellation, Apatow cast Rogen in his next series, Undeclared -- for which Rogen significantly contributed as a writer. Undeclared met the same fate as Freaks and Geeks and was canceled mid-season, but both series became surprisingly hot cult hits upon their DVD releases. Rogen went on to write for Da Ali G Show and take minor roles in Donnie Darko and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy before being tapped by Apatow once again for a new project, this time on the big screen. The film was 2005's The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and Rogen's role as Steve Carell's well-meaning friend Cal finally brought him the large-scale success that made his comic skills a valuable commodity. Rogen also acted as co-producer on the film, which was touted as the funniest movie in years by critics and audiences alike, eventually grossing well over a hundred million dollars. There was obviously good chemistry on the set of The 40 Year Old Virgin, so Rogen signed on to appear in Apatow's 2007 comedy Knocked Up. Appearing alongside his old cast mates Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann, Rogen starred as a man who is forced to deal with serious unforeseen consequences when his one-night stand becomes pregnant. After the filmmakers' initial plans to cast Anne Hathaway in the opposite role fell through, Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl signed on to star as the female lead. The smash success of Superbad made him one of the biggest comedy stars of his generation and led to Pineapple Express, a pot comedy opposite James Franco. He was Zack in Zack and MIri Make a Porno, and took a screenwriting credit on Drillbit Taylor in 2008. He lent his distinctive gravelly voice to a number of animated films including Kung Fu Panda and Monsters vs. Aliens. In 2009 he stretched himself, reteaming with Apatow for Funny People, and taking the lead in the black comedy Observe and Report. In 2011 he was The Green Hornet, but he also appeared as the best friend to a young cancer victim in the comedy 50/50. He also played the husband of Michelle Williams in Sarah Polley's Take This Waltz.

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

No Score Yet An American Pickle Herschel Greenbaum Producer 2020
23% Zeroville Actor 2019
79% Good Boys Producer 2019
53% The Lion King Pumbaa 2019
81% Long Shot Fred Flarsky 2019
No Score Yet B.O.O.: Bureau of Otherworldly Operations Jackson Moss 2019
No Score Yet Casi imposible Fred Flarsky Producer 2019
83% Blockers Producer 2018
46% Like Father Actor 2018
No Score Yet Seth Rogen's Hilarity for Charity Actor 2018
20% Game Over, Man! Producer 2018
91% The Disaster Artist Producer Sandy Schklair 2017
No Score Yet F For Franco Actor 2017
No Score Yet Console Wars Director Screenwriter 2017
No Score Yet The Something Producer Actor 2017
83% Sausage Party Frank Screenwriter Producer $97.7M 2016
63% Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising Producer Screenwriter Mac Radner 2016
87% Kung Fu Panda 3 Mantis $128.4M 2016
67% The Night Before Isaac Producer $31.4M 2015
86% Steve Jobs Steven Wozniak $12.5M 2015
33% Being Canadian Actor 2015
51% The Interview Producer Director Screenwriter Aaron Rapaport $4.6M 2014
22% The Sound And The Fury Telegraph 2014
72% Neighbors Producer Mac Radner $134.5M 2014
No Score Yet Comedy Central Roast of James Franco Actor 2013
83% This Is the End Seth Rogen Director Producer Screenwriter $96.3M 2013
37% The Guilt Trip Executive Producer Andrew Brewster $37.2M 2012
57% For a Good Time, Call... Jerry $1.3M 2012
17% The Watch Screenwriter $34.2M 2012
78% Take This Waltz Lou $1.2M 2012
No Score Yet Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters Mantis 2011
93% 50/50 Producer Kyle $35.1M 2011
81% Kung Fu Panda 2 Mantis $165.3M 2011
71% Paul Paul $37.4M 2011
44% The Green Hornet Screenwriter Executive Producer Britt Reid/The Green Hornet $98.1M 2011
No Score Yet Fight For Your Right Revisited Mike D (B-Boys 1) 2011
No Score Yet Night of the Living Carrots Actor 2011
No Score Yet With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story Actor 2010
No Score Yet Monsters Vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space Actor 2009
60% Paper Heart Himself $1.2M 2009
69% Funny People Ira Wright Executive Producer $51.9M 2009
51% Observe and Report Ronnie Barnhardt $24M 2009
73% Monsters vs. Aliens B.O.B. $198.4M 2009
No Score Yet Popcorn Porn Actor 2009
No Score Yet B.O.B.'S Big Break B.O.B. 2009
No Score Yet Kung Fu Panda: Secrets Of The Scroll Mantis 2008
65% Zack and Miri Make a Porno Zack $31.4M 2008
68% Pineapple Express Dale Denton Screenwriter Executive Producer $87.4M 2008
32% Fanboys Actor $0.8M 2008
55% Step Brothers Sporting Goods Manager $100.5M 2008
87% Kung Fu Panda Mantis $215.4M 2008
26% Drillbit Taylor Screenwriter $32.9M 2008
79% Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who! Morton $154.4M 2008
80% The Spiderwick Chronicles Hogsqueal $71.2M 2008
87% Superbad Executive Producer Screenwriter Officer Michaels $121.5M 2007
90% Knocked Up Ben Stone Executive Producer $148.8M 2007
41% Shrek the Third Ship Captain $320.8M 2007
20% You, Me and Dupree Neil $75.7M 2006
85% The 40 Year Old Virgin Cal Producer $109.3M 2005
66% Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy Eager Cameraman $84.2M 2004
87% Donnie Darko Ricky Danforth 2001

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

55% Black Monday
2019
Executive Producer
  • 2019
No Score Yet Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner
2019
Guest
  • 2019
No Score Yet Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
2012
Guest
  • 2019
100% Desus & Mero
2019
Guest
  • 2019
83% The Boys
2019
Director
  • 2019
73% The Twilight Zone
2019
  • 2019
91% Future Man
2017
Director Executive Producer
  • 2019
  • 2017
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden
2015
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2017
87% Preacher
2016
Director Executive Producer Producer
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
No Score Yet The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
No Score Yet Late Night With Seth Meyers
2014
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2015
No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2016
  • 2014
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2015
  • 2014
  • 2012
No Score Yet Close Up With the Hollywood Reporter
2015
Guest
  • 2018
No Score Yet Talking With Chris Hardwick
2017-2018
Guest
  • 2018
83% The Joel McHale Show With Joel McHale
2018
Appearing
  • 2018
No Score Yet Snoop Dogg Presents the Joker's Wild
2017
Guest
  • 2018
  • 2017
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest
  • 2018
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2014
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Guest
  • 2018
  • 2015
  • 2012
  • 2011
No Score Yet Desus & Mero (2016)
2016-2018
Guest
  • 2017
  • 2016
50% Any Given Wednesday With Bill Simmons
2016
Guest
  • 2016
No Score Yet Billy on the Street
2011-2017
Appearing
  • 2016
No Score Yet Jeff Ross Presents Roast Battle
2016-2018
Judge
  • 2016
No Score Yet Martha & Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party
2016
Guest
  • 2016
No Score Yet Variety Studio: Actors on Actors
2015
Guest
  • 2016
  • 2015
No Score Yet Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen
2009
Guest
  • 2016
  • 2014
No Score Yet @midnight With Chris Hardwick
2014-2017
Panelist
  • 2015
98% Last Week Tonight With John Oliver
2014
Appearing
  • 2015
No Score Yet Colbert Report
2005-2014
Guest
  • 2014
No Score Yet Real Time With Bill Maher
2003
Guest
  • 2014
No Score Yet Sunday Morning
2011-2018
Appearing
  • 2014
69% The Comeback
2005-2014
Himself
  • 2014
81% The League
2009-2015
Screenwriter Randy Dirty Randy
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2012
  • 2011
No Score Yet Conan
2010
Guest
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2011
  • 2010
85% The Simpsons
1989
Voice Screenwriter
  • 2014
  • 2009
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Host Appearing Performer
  • 2014
  • 2011
  • 2009
  • 2007
86% The Mindy Project
2012-2017
Sam
  • 2013
No Score Yet The Nerdist
2011-2013
Guest
  • 2013
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest
  • 2013
  • 2010
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest
  • 2013
  • 2011
  • 2009
No Score Yet Comedy Bang! Bang!
2012-2016
Guest
  • 2012
No Score Yet Dr. Phil
2002
Guest
  • 2012
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest
  • 2012
  • 2011
No Score Yet Lopez Tonight
2009-2011
Guest
  • 2011
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest
  • 2011
No Score Yet MythBusters
2003-2018
Guest
  • 2010
71% Family Guy
1999
Voice
  • 2009
No Score Yet American Dad (target for inaccurate feed data)
2005
Voice
  • 2008
  • 2007
  • 2005
93% Undeclared
2001-2002
Ron Ron Garner
  • 2003
  • 2002
  • 2001
100% Freaks and Geeks
1999-2000
Ken
  • 2000
  • 1999
No Score Yet The Mindy Project
Sam

QUOTES FROM Seth Rogen CHARACTERS

Dave Skylark
Haters gonna hate ... and ain'ters gonna ain't.
Aaron Rapaport
That is not an actual thing that people say.
Steven Wozniak
It's not binary. You can be a genius AND be a decent man.
Steven Wozniak
It's not binary. You can be a genius and be a decent man.
Fogell
What's it like having guns?
Officer Michaels
It is awesome, Mclovin, it's mind-boggling. I haven't had for long, only a few months, but it's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill a man.
Mac Radner
Never funny
Mac Radner
I thought it was stupid. Very few funny parts. Young teens will love it
Mac Radner
Delta Si Has The Upper Hand!
Carl Peterson
Why don't you watch it in your house.
Neil
Because I can't have friends over on weeknights and you know that.
Michael Cera
Everybody listen up! Who took my fucking cell phone man? Martin, empty your pockets!
Martin Starr
What?
Michael Cera
I saw you in the bathroom, man! Somebody dial my phone! Unbelievable! Unacceptable, after coke I wasted on you people, thrown away!
Seth Rogen
*Street light starts falling* Whoa, whoa!
Seth Rogen
Whoa, whoa!
Michael Cera
*Street light impales Micheal and lifts him up* *He pulls out his ringing phone* Shit, that's embarrassing
Michael Cera
Shit, that's embarrassing
Seth Rogen
I'm a victim. I've had a victim's mentality my whole life. People could smell it on me. When I was a kid, I had man titties, the bullies held me down, they titty fucked me.
James Franco
That's what's happening out there!
Seth Rogen
You think this is Skynet? Synet went live?
Jay Baruchel
The power of Christ compels you!
Jonah Hill
Does it Jay?
Jonah Hill
Does it jay?
Jay Baruchel
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!
Jonah Hill
Does it Jay? Do I look compelled Jay? Let me tell you, its not very compelling!
Seth Rogen
What are you just quoting the Exorcist
Jay Baruchel
Yes dude it was a fucking training manual! I'm pretty sure they did their fucking research!
Jay Baruchel
Yes dude, it was a fucking training manual! I'm pretty sure they did their fucking research!
Graeme Willy
How can I understand you; are you using some sort of neuro-language router?
Paul
Or, maybe I'm speaking ENGLISH, you fucking idiot!
Paul
Or, maybe I'm speaking English, you fucking idiot!
Danny McBride
We should just stay in here, fortify this bitch, and take it into all the food and shit we have.
Seth Rogen
We got: twelve bottles of water, fifty-six beers, half-ounce sour diesel, one ounce of shrooms, Nutella, CT Crunch...a Milky Way?
Seth Rogen
We got: twelve bottles of water, fifty-six beers, half-ounce sour diesel, one ounce of shrooms, Nutella, CT Crunch. A Milky Way?
Jonah Hill
Can I have that Milky Way?
James Franco
No, you can't have the Milky Way. It's my special food, I like it.
Seth Rogen
I want some of the Milky Way.
Craig Robinson
I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at least get a bite of the Milky Way.
Jay Baruchel
Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?
Seth Rogen
Uh...I'm on a cleanse.
Seth Rogen
Uh. I'm on a cleanse.
Jay Baruchel
So, you're not drinking, you're not smoking weed...
Jay Baruchel
So, you're not drinking, you're not smoking weed?
Seth Rogen
I'm on a cleanse, I'm not psychotic.
Ben Stone
[watching Cheaper by the Dozen after taking mushrooms] This isn't funny. This guy's got twelve kids, that's not funny. That's a lot of responsibility to just be... laughing about. This is sick. This is a sick movie. I gotta turn this off. It's freaking me out.
Ben Stone
You know how they say to never drink and drive? Well, never drink and bone.
Ben Stone
You think I'm an inventor? "He created a dick-skin condom, He hollowed out a penis and put it on", what the fuck?
Ben Stone
Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
Ben Stone
Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison Scott
You're not going to fuck me like a dog.
Ben Stone
It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.
Jason
I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone
We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason
It's not herpes if it's everywhere.
Alison Scott
Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?
Ben Stone
I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!
Ben Stone
That's because Steely Dan Gargles my balls.
Ben Stone
That's because Steely Dan gargles my balls.
Ben's Dad
I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Ben Stone
I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Ben's Dad
Yes.
Ben Stone
Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for YOU...
Alison Scott
I was drunk!
Ben Stone
Was your vagina drunk?
Ben Stone
[to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...
Joyce Brewster
If all the kids in the world were lined up and I was to pick one kid for myself Andy, it will always be you.
Andy Brewster
I wouldn't let you pick anyone else mom.
Joyce Brewster
Who the hell are you?
Andy Brewster
Mom, you're in the wrong car!
Ricky Danforth
'Didn't your dad like...stab your mom?'
Ricky Danforth
Didn't your dad like... stab your mom?
Joyce Brewster
You want to drive to drive cross country with me?
Andy Brewster
Yeah! No!
Dale Denton
Coucous, the food's so nice, they named it twice
Dale Denton
Coucous, the food's so nice, they named it twice.
Paul
You'll know it when you see it.
Zack Brown
Ziggy? Is that even in fucking papers anymore? No, man.
Delaney
Fuck you, Ziggy's a comic. It's right next to Family Circus.
Zack Brown
No, I mean.. Spider-Man and shit.
Kyle
Have you got a picture?
Adam
Why would I be carrying a picture of it?
Kyle
You smell like you fucked the cast of The View.
Ricky Danforth
Didn't your Dad, like, stab your mom?
Ricky Danforth
Yeah, but didn't your dad like stab your mom?
Kyle
she doesn't ? No fucking shit she doesn't like to. No one likes putting a dick in their mouth. You do it cause .. that's why they are called blowjobs .. it's a job
Kyle
She does...No fucking shit she doesn't like to! Who likes putting dicks in their mouth? You do it cause that's why they call it blow jobs! It's a job!
Captain
Hello... Kitty and Catty...
Officer Michaels
I assume you all have guns and crack
Officer Michaels
I assume you all have guns and crack.
Paul
Clive likes boning space bears!
Katie
B.O.B.: Wait, is it the whole 'there isn't a jar in the world I can't open' thing again? Did you find a jar you couldn't open? Did it have pickles in it? Where is the giant jar of pickles!?
B.O.B.
Wait, is it the whole 'there isn't a jar in the world I can't open' thing again? Did you find a jar you couldn't open? Did it have pickles in it? Where is the giant jar of pickles!?
Graeme Willy
Are you an alien?
Paul
To you I am, yes.
Graeme Willy
Are you gonna probe us
Paul
Why does everyone always assume that, what am I doing? Am a harvesting farts?
Kyle
I did it! I fucking nailed you! I've hated you for months and now I have fucking evidence that you suck as a person
Kyle
I did it! I fucking nailed you! I've hated you for months and now I have fucking evidence that you suck as a person.
Kyle
And I would like to present to you what I have grown to call exhibit whore!
Paul
yo fuck nuts,its probing time
Paul
Yo fuck nuts, its probing time.
Saul Silver
hey look its like my thumb is my cock
Saul Silver
Hey look, it's like my thumb is my cock. Heh heh...
Dale Denton
thats not gonna get us a ride man
Dale Denton
That's not going to get us a ride, man.
Robert
(with shotgun) You assholes do exactly what I say or I will take you outside and FUCK YOU IN THE STREET!
Robert
[with shotgun] You assholes do exactly what I say or I will take you outside and FUCK YOU IN THE STREET!
Saul Silver
No, don't do that.
Dale Denton
Don't fuck us anywhere.
Ricky Danforth
I like your...boobs.
Ricky Danforth
I like your boobs.
Mantis
I cant feel my face
Mantis
I can't feel my face.
Kyle
Of course she doesn't like to. No one likes putting a dick in their mouth.
Zack
Miriam Linky, will you have sex with me on camera for money?
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.
[To Susan Murphy (now Ginormica)] As you can see,..he has no brain.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.
[to Susan Murphy (now Ginormica)] As you can see...he has no brain.
B.O.B.
Turns out, you don't need one!
Paul
What's new, fatty?
Clive Gollings
It's not fat, Paul, it's power. So rude!
Zack
give me two popsicle sticks and a rubber band and i'll find a way to fuck it, like a filthy magiver.
Zack
You give me a two popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to fuck it like a filthy MacGyver.
Kyle
Did he say I was a dick? 'Cause I'm not.
Kyle
Who found it?
Adam
(Sarcastically)My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans..who do you think found it?!?
Adam
[sarcastically] My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans..who do you think found it?
Kato
I donâ??t want to talk. I barely speak English.
Kato
I don't want to talk. I barely speak English.
Britt Reid/The Green Hornet
Youâ??re speaking English right now!
Britt Reid/The Green Hornet
You're speaking English right now!
Britt Reid/The Green Hornet
The Green Hornet and his reliable partner. The Blue Wombat.
Britt Reid/The Green Hornet
The Green Hornet. His reliable partner, the Blue Wombat.
Officer Michaels
Prepared to be fucked by the long dick of the law!
Zack
Brandon is the star of such adult fare as...what was it?
Zack
Brandon is the star of such adult fare as... what was it?
Brandon
You Better Shut Your Mouth Before I Fuck It
Brandon
You better shut your mouth before I fuck it.
Morton
The kangaroo has gone mad. She's telling everyone that you think there are people living on specks. She even went to Vlad!
Horton
Vlad..I know two Vlads: the bad Vlad and the bunny that makes cookies!
Horton
Vlad.. I know two Vlads: the bad Vlad and the bunny that makes cookies!
Morton
Yeah, Horton, she's sending you a bunny with cookies.
Paul
It’s pretty strong shit, I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Paul
It?s pretty strong shit, I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Paul
It's pretty strong shit, I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Graeme Willy
Bob Dylan’s not dead.
Graeme Willy
Bob Dylan?s not dead.
Graeme Willy
Bob Dylan's not dead.
Paul
Isn’t he?
Paul
Isn't he?
Cal
u gotta hummer from the tranny didn't ya
Cal
You got a hummer from the tranny, didn't you?
Cal
she likes u man
Cal
She likes you, man.
David
too bad i retired my penis
David
Too bad I retired my penis.
Andy Stitzer
hold my hand
Andy Stitzer
Hold my hand.
Cal
r u kidding me man
Cal
Are you kidding me?
Andy Stitzer
hold my goddamn hand man
Andy Stitzer
Hold my goddamn hand, man!
Cal
u know whats a fun game u take 3 excedrin pms and u see if u can wack off before u fall asleep.u always win..is the best part about the game
Cal
You know what's a fun game? You take 3 excedrin pms and u see if u can wack off before u fall asleep.u always win..is the best part about the game
Cal
You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game
Cal
You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game.
B.O.B.
Wait, is it the whole "there isn't a jar in the world I can't open" thing again? Did you find a jar you couldn't open? Did it have pickles in it? Where is the giant jar of pickles!?!?!?!
B.O.B.
Wait, is it the whole 'there isn't a jar in the world I can't open' thing again? Did you find a jar you couldn't open? Did it have pickles in it? Where is the giant jar of pickles!?
Kyle
You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
Kyle
You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
Adam
No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort....
Adam
No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.
Paul
I'm not gonna eat a DEAD bird, am I?
Zack
We're gonna have a lot of fun, but more importantly we're gonna make a lot of money
Zack
We're gonna have a lot of fun, but more importantly we're gonna make a lot of money.
Paul
Oh yeah! Then how do you explain me? (Coming out of the bathroom and making Ruth faint)
Paul
Oh yeah! Then how do you explain me? [coming out of the bathroom and making Ruth faint]
Paul
Hello, I'm Paul. (Clive faints)
Paul
Hello, I'm Paul. [Clive faints]
Saul Silver
Its out bro. Monkey's out of the bottle man!
Dale Denton
What!?
Dale Denton
What?
Saul Silver
Yeah!
Dale Denton
Thats not even an expression!!
Dale Denton
Thats not even an expression!
Paul
This is America; kidnapping a Christian? That's worse than harboring a fugitive!
Paul
I think we can all learn a lesson from this. Be yourself, speak from the heart, some shit like that.
Paul
Well it's safe to say we've all learned something from this, be yourself, speak from your heart, some shit like that...
Paul
This ship takes off very fast, its a little awkward!!
Paul
This spaceship takes off really slowly. It's a little awkward.
Clive Gollings
I'm starving...
Clive Gollings
I'm starving.
Paul
What's new, fatty?
Clive Gollings
It's not fat, Paul, it's power. You're so rude...
Clive Gollings
It's not fat, Paul. It's power. You're so rude.
Cal
You know how I know you're gay? I saw you make spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once.
Cal
You know how I know you're gay?
David
How?
Cal
I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once.
Paul
Stoke the fire!
Adam
You really think that a girl is going to go for me just 'cause I have cancer?
Kyle
For the millionth time. YES!
Kyle
If you were a casino game, you would have the best odds.
Dale Denton
WOW! The f#ck was that?
Dale Denton
Whoa! What the fuck was that?
Saul Silver
I tired to hit that tree and I missed.
Saul Silver
I was trying to hit that tree. I missed.
Dale Denton
What tree?!
Dale Denton
What tree?
Dale Denton
That one.
Saul Silver
That one.
Dale Denton
Why don't you smash it on a rock like a normal person? Like I did.
Dale Denton
Why didn't you smash it on a rock like a normal person like I did?
Saul Silver
How often does somebody smash things? I'm rusty.
Saul Silver
I don't know! How often does somebody smash things? I'm rusty, fuck.
Saul Silver
I don't know! Call your phone.
Dale Denton
What?! My phone has been smashed.
Ronnie Barnhardt
I love tango after midnight.
Paul
Clive likes boning space bears.
Paul
[sings] Clive likes boning space bears!
Paul
Get your goddamn hands off my motherfuckin junk!!!
Paul
[after getting frisked inappropriately by O'Reilly] Get your goddamn hands off my motherfuckin' junk!
Paul
I'm not gonna eat a dead bird, am I?
Britt Reid/The Green Hornet
It's not dying that you need be afraid of, it's never having lived in the first place.
Graeme Willy
Are you gonna probe us?!
Graeme Willy
Are you gonna probe us?
Paul
Why does everyone always assume that?! What am I doing? harvesting farts?! How much can I learn from an ass?!
Hogsqueal
Fly as you want. Griffin! I swallowed an ogre whole. You could be next!
Hogsqueal
Fly as you want. Griffin! I swallowed an ogre whole. You could be next!
Tigress
If he's smart he won't come back up those stairs.
Monkey
But he will.
Viper
He's not going to quit, is he?
Mantis
I'll tell you what, he's not gonna quit bouncing.
Paul
Why are we holding hands?
Graeme Willy
So we look like a family. Just a couple of regular guys walking down the street...with a small cowboy.
Graeme Willy
So we look like a family. We're just a couple of regular guys, walking down the street, with a small cowboy.
Graeme Willy
So we look like a family. Just a couple of regular guys, walking down the street, with a small cowboy.
Mantis
I never thought I'd die this way. I always thought I'd find a nice girl; we'd settle down... and then she'd eat my head.
Mantis
I didn't think I would die like this. I thought it would end with me settling down with a nice girl. She would bite my head off.
Zack
SWALLOW MY COCKACCINO!
Zack
Swallow my Cockaccino.
Mantis
I didn't think I would die like this!! I thought I would settle down, then have my wife bite my head off..
Mantis
I didn't think I would die like this. I thought it would end with me settling down with a nice girl. She would bite my head off.
Mantis
I never thought I'd die this way, I always tought I would settle down with a nice girl and she would eat my head.
Mantis
You know I never had daddy problems, maybe it was because my mom ate his head before I was born, I don't know.
Cal
I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School.
Bubbles
Can he slap that ass a little
Bubbles
Can he slap her ass a little?
Zack
Don't be a perv!
Zack
Don't be a fucken pervert dude!
Zack
I apologise in advance if I am out of line here, but are you in gay porn?
Brandon
Guilty as charged
Brandon
Guilty as charged.
Tigress
Where's Po?
Mantis
How can we lose a guy that big?