Steve Martin

Steve Martin

  • Highest Rated: 100% Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life (2018)
  • Lowest Rated: 6% Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)
  • Birthday: Aug 14, 1945
  • Birthplace: Waco, Texas, USA
  • Working as a Disneyland concessionaire in his teens, comedian Steve Martin's first experiences in entertainment were of the party performer variety -- he picked up skills in juggling, tap-dancing, sleight of hand, and balloon sculpting, among other things. He later attended U.C.L.A., where he majored in philosophy and theater before moving on to staff-writer stints for such TV performers as Glen Campbell, the Smothers Brothers, Dick Van Dyke, John Denver, and Sonny & Cher. Occasionally allowed to perform as well as write, Martin didn't go into standup comedy full-time until the late '60s, when he moved to Canada and appeared as a semi-regular on the syndicated TV variety series Half the George Kirby Comedy Hour. As the opening act for rock stars in the early '70s, Martin emulated the fashion of the era with a full beard, shaggy hair, colorful costumes, and drug jokes. Comedians of such ilk were common in this market, however, so Martin carefully developed a brand-new persona: the well-groomed, immaculately dressed young man who goes against his appearance by behaving like a lunatic. By 1975, he was the "Comic of the Hour," convulsing audiences with his feigned enthusiasm over the weakest of jokes and the most obvious of comedy props. His entire act a devastating parody of second-rate comedians who rely on preconditioning to get laughs, Martin became internationally famous for such catch phrases as "Excu-u-use me!," "Happy feet!," and "I am...one wild and crazy guy!" It was fun for a while to hear audiences shout them out even before he'd uttered them, but it wasn't long before Martin was tired of live standup and anxious to get into films. Though Martin had roles in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1977) and The Muppet Movie, Martin's true screen bow was The Jerk (1979), in which, with the seriousness of Olivier, he portrayed a bumbling, self-described poor black child-turned accidental millionaire. Had he been a lesser performer, Martin could have played variations on The Jerk for the remainder of his life, but he preferred to seek out new challenges. It took nerve to go against the sensibilities of his fans with an on-edge portrayal of a habitual loser in Pennies From Heaven (1981), but Martin was successful, even if the film wasn't. And few other actors could convincingly pull off a project like Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1983), wherein, and with utter conviction, he acted opposite film clips of dead movie stars. After a first-rate turn in All of Me (1984), in which he played a man whose body is inhabited by the soul of a woman, Martin's film work began to fluctuate in quality, only to emerge on top again with Roxanne (1987), a potentially silly but ultimately compelling update of Cyrano de Bergerac. Though he participated in a fair amount of misses in the '80s and '90s (Mixed Nuts (1994), Housesitter (1992), Leap of Faith (1992), and Sgt. Bilko (1996), to name a few), Martin was unarguably full of surprises, as witnessed in his unsympathetic portrayal in Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1989), his hilariously evil dentist in Little Shop of Horrors (1986), his angst-ridden father in Parenthood (1989), his smooth-talking Italian in My Blue Heaven, and his callow film producer in Grand Canyon (1991) -- though the public still seemed to prefer his standard comic performances in The Three Amigos (1986), Father of the Bride (1991), and L.A. Story (1991). Martin then went out on yet another artistic limb with A Simple Twist of Fate (1994) -- a film update of that high-school English-class perennial Silas Marner. After starring in a very dark role in David Mamet's The Spanish Prisoner (1997) and an unsuccessful return to comedy in The Out-of-Towners (1999), Martin again won acclaim for Bowfinger, a 1999 comedy-satire that cast him as its titular hero, an unsuccessful movie director trying to make a film without the aid of a real script or real star. Martin -- who also wrote the film's screenplay -- played the straight man aga

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

94% Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind Actor 2018
100% Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life Actor Screenwriter 2018
No Score Yet The American Epic Sessions Actor 2017
44% Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Norm Oglesby $1.8M 2016
52% Live From New York! Actor 2015
50% Home Capt. Smek $157.9M 2015
No Score Yet Almost Home Actor 2014
No Score Yet Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Live Actor 2013
No Score Yet Give Me The Banjo Narrator 2012
41% The Big Year Stu Preissler $7.2M 2011
58% It's Complicated Adam $112.8M 2009
12% Pink Panther 2 Screenwriter Inspector Jacques Clouseau $36M 2009
65% Traitor Executive Producer $23.6M 2008
64% Baby Mama Barry $60.3M 2008
No Score Yet Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business Of America Actor 2008
No Score Yet Slednecks 11 Actor 2008
88% Young@Heart Himself - Young@Heart Chorus $3.8M 2007
6% Cheaper by the Dozen 2 Tom Baker $82.5M 2005
60% Shopgirl Ray Porter Producer Screenwriter $10.1M 2005
22% Jiminy Glick in Lalawood Himself $26.2K 2005
No Score Yet Queen Latifah: Unauthorized Actor 2005
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live - The Best of Tom Hanks Actor 2005
No Score Yet The Rutles 2---Can't Buy Me Lunch Actor 2004
24% Cheaper by the Dozen Tom Baker $138.6M 2003
56% Looney Tunes: Back in Action Mr. Chairman $21.1M 2003
34% Bringing Down the House Peter Sanderson 2003
No Score Yet Comedy Central Presents: The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase Actor 2002
38% Novocaine Dr. Frank Sangster $1.6M 2001
No Score Yet Monty Python Live! Actor 2001
73% Remember the Titans Heckler $114.3M 2000
No Score Yet Dish Dogs David 2000
81% Fantasia 2000 Narrator 2000
65% Joe Gould's Secret Charlie Duell 2000
81% Bowfinger Screenwriter Bobby Bowfinger 1999
27% The Out-of-Towners Henry 1999
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live: The Best of Steve Martin Actor 1999
80% The Prince of Egypt Hotep 1998
89% The Spanish Prisoner Jimmy Dell 1997
31% Sgt. Bilko Sgt. Ernie Bilko 1996
48% Father of the Bride: Part II George Banks 1995
10% Mixed Nuts Philip 1994
43% A Simple Twist of Fate Michael McCann Screenwriter Executive Producer 1994
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live - Best of the Coneheads Actor 1994
100% And the Band Played On Brother 1993
62% Leap of Faith Jonas Nightengale 1992
37% Housesitter Newton Davis 1992
No Score Yet Shelley Duvall's Bedtime Stories Actor 1992
77% Grand Canyon Davis 1991
26% Hudson Hawk Ook 1991
94% L.A. Story Executive Producer Harris K. Telemacher Screenwriter 1991
70% Father of the Bride George Banks 1991
71% My Blue Heaven Vinnie Antonelli 1990
91% Parenthood Gil 1989
No Score Yet Monty Python's Parrot Sketch Not Included Host 1989
89% Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Freddy Benson 1988
93% Planes, Trains and Automobiles Neal Page 1987
89% Roxanne Screenwriter Executive Producer C. D. Bales 1987
90% Little Shop of Horrors Orin Scrivello 1986
46% Three Amigos! Lucky Day Executive Producer Screenwriter 1986
No Score Yet Movers & Shakers Fabio Longio 1985
No Score Yet The History of White People in America Actor 1985
92% All of Me Roger Cobb 1984
48% The Lonely Guy Larry Hubbard 1984
76% The Man with Two Brains Screenwriter Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr 1983
79% Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Screenwriter Rigby Reardon 1982
85% Pennies From Heaven Arthur 1981
100% The Kids Are Alright Actor 1979
81% The Jerk Screenwriter Navin Johnson 1979
88% The Muppet Movie Insolent Waiter 1979
12% Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band Dr. Maxwell Edison 1978

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

No Score Yet Late Night With Seth Meyers
2014
Guest
  • 2019
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Performer Guest
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2014
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest
  • 2018
No Score Yet Sunday Morning
2011-2018
Guest Appearing
  • 2018
  • 2016
No Score Yet Today
2017
Performer Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
Guest Appearing
  • 2017
  • 2016
No Score Yet Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
2012
Appearing
  • 2016
38% Maya & Marty
2016
Appearing
  • 2016
No Score Yet CBS This Morning
2012
Guest
  • 2016
  • 2014
No Score Yet American Masters
2001
Appearing
  • 2015
No Score Yet Charlie Rose
2013-2017
Performer
  • 2015
  • 2014
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest
  • 2015
  • 2013
No Score Yet Great Performances
2000
Performer
  • 2014
No Score Yet Inside Comedy
2012-2015
Guest
  • 2013
No Score Yet The View
1997
Guest
  • 2013
No Score Yet Conan
2010
Performer Guest
  • 2013
  • 2012
  • 2011
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Performer
  • 2013
  • 2011
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Performer Guest
  • 2013
  • 2011
  • 2007
  • 2006
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest
  • 2012
  • 2011
  • 2000
No Score Yet Colbert Report
2005-2014
Guest
  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2009
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Performer Guest Host Appearing
  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2009
  • 2006
  • 1994
  • 1991
  • 1989
  • 1987
  • 1986
  • 1980
  • 1979
  • 1978
  • 1977
  • 1976
No Score Yet Independent Lens
1999
Appearing
  • 2010
45% The Academy Awards
1978
  • 2010
  • 2003
  • 2001
85% 30 Rock
2006-2013
Gavin Volure
  • 2008
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest
  • 2008
No Score Yet Art in the Twenty-First Century
2001-2018
  • 2001
85% The Simpsons
1989
Voice
  • 1998
100% The Muppet Show
1976-1981
Guest
  • 1977

QUOTES FROM Steve Martin CHARACTERS

Car Rental Agent
May I see you rental agreement?
Neal Page
I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent
Oh boy.
Neal Page
Oh boy what?
Car Rental Agent
You're fucked.
Car Rental Agent
May I see your rental agreement?
Neal Page
I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent
Oh boy.
Neal Page
Oh boy what?
Car Rental Agent
You're fucked!
C. D. Bales
Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
Lucky Day
In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!
Lucky Day
Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!
El Guapo
What do you mean?
Lucky Day
I don't know.
Jefe
I think he means that if you...
El Guapo
Shut up!
Roger Cobb
Tell the truth, I kind a miss the old girl.
Edwina Cutwater
Who are you calling old?!
Roger Cobb
That's not funny, Ty.
Edwina Cutwater
It is not Mr. Wattell. It is I.
Roger Cobb
...Edwina??
Tyrone Wattell
Yeah. When you gave me that pitcher & told me to take care of it, I thought it was gin & drank some.
Roger Cobb
Edwina, I gotta kiss you!
Tyrone Wattell
That's MY side, stupid!
Davis
That's part of your problem you know, you haven't seen enough movies; all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Davis
I think if you talk about stuff, then maybe that takes the place of doing it.
Davis
You're always talking about X but you're thinking about Y. Learn to talk about Y, forget about X. X is going to take care of itself.
Del Griffith
I know you don't I? I'm usually very good with names, but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours.
Neal Page
You stole my cab.
Del Griffith
I never stole anything in my life.
Neal Page
I hailed a cab on Park Avenue this afternoon and, before I could get in it, you stole it.
Del Griffith
You're the guy who tried to get my cab. I knew I knew you! You scared the bejesus out of me. Come to think of it - it was easy to get a cab during rush hour.
Neal Page
Del, what are you still doing here? Why aren't you going home?
Del Griffith
I... I don't have a home. Marie's been dead for eight years.
Screaming Driver
Put your window down!
Neal Page
He wants something.
Del Griffith
Ah, he's probably drunk.
Screaming Driver
You're going the wrong way!
Neal Page
What?!
Del Griffith
We were robbed!
Neal Page
Do you think so?
Neal Page
You're messing with the wrong guy!
Freddy Benson
Go stand over there.
Janet Colgate
Here?
Freddy Benson
No, over by the bed. I want to see how far I can go.
Harris K. Telemacher
[talking about the weather] This is L.A. What's gonna change?
Harris K. Telemacher
This is L.A. What's gonna change?
Lucky Day
We have a plan.
Carmen
Yes, what is it??
Lucky Day
First we break into El Guapo's fortress.
Carmen
And that you've done, now what?
Lucky Day
...well we didn't really expect the first part of the plan to work so we really didn't think much about what we were going to do next. You really can't overplan these things.
Rigby Reardon
Here's three bucks if you can get this cab to 46 Bay Court in ten minutes. [watches as the taxi speeds off]
Rigby Reardon
Here's three bucks if you can get this cab to 46 Bay Court in ten minutes.
Rigby Reardon
[running to another taxi] Follow that cab!
Rigby Reardon
Follow that cab!
Rigby Reardon
I always carry my harmonica: it's lighter than an accordion and more powerful than a sleeping pill.
Rigby Reardon
Where'd you learn that?
Juliet Forrest
At camp.
Rigby Reardon
You learned that at girls' camp?
Juliet Forrest
It's really for a snake bite, but I find it works for everything.
Vinnie Antonelli
Nice day for a mow.
Harris K. Telemacher
'"Is this the new cruelty?"'
Harris K. Telemacher
Is this the new cruelty?
Freddy Benson
I know somebody here! I met him on a train! His name... is... his name is... James. No. His name is... James Josephson. Lor. No, no, no. James Lawrence. LAWRENCE... Lawrence. Lawrence Fells. Lawrence Feings. Forest Lorenston. Low. Lars. LARS. Lawrence. Lawrence. Luch. Lawrence. Tuh. His name is James Jesenthon. Lawrence Fell. Lawrence Jesterton. LAWRENCE
Freddy Benson
I've got culture coming out of my ass.
Freddy Benson
[in a childlike voice] Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!
Freddy Benson
I didn't steal any money! She just saw me with another woman! You're French, you understand that!
Inspector Andre
To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.
Gil Buckman
What say later, after the kids are asleep, I wear this outfit?
Car Rental Agent
How may I help you?
Neal Page
You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can get me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick, four fucking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent
I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal Page
And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car...right...fucking...now.
Del Griffith
You play with your balls alot.
Del Griffith
You play with your balls a lot.
Neal Page
I do not play with my balls
Neal Page
I do NOT play with my balls.
Del Griffith
ha ha ha. Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball handling in one night as you do in an hour.
Del Griffith
Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal Page
Are you trying to start a fight?
Neal Page
Are you trying to start a fight?
Del Griffith
No. I'm simply stating a fact that's all. You fidget with your nuts alot.
Del Griffith
No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Acme VP Nitpicking
What about the duck?
Mr. Chairman
Extra crispy. (Bum bum bum)
Mr. Chairman
Extra crispy. [bum bum bum]
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
What did I ever do to you?
Seymour Krelborn
Nothing. It's what you did to her.
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
Her who?
Seymour Krelborn
. . . . .
Seymour Krelborn
...
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
Oh, her.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau
What?
Gilbert Ponton
Nothing.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau
You mean you didn't just say, "AAAHHHHHHH"?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau
You mean you didn't just say, 'AAAHHHHHHH'?
Rigby Reardon
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face, and the slowly move her to the next room, maneuver her next to the bed, marry her and start the whoopee machine.
Neal Page
...Del? Why did you kiss my ear?
Del Griffith
...Why are you holding my hand?
Neal Page
...Where's your OTHER hand?
Del Griffith
...Between two pillows...
Neal Page
...Those aren't pillows!
Del Griffith
Aaaaaahhh!
Del Griffith
Neal: [riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is? Del: One.
Neal Page
[riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is?
Taxi racer
One.
Del Griffith
One.
Navin Johnson
Truck Driver Picking Up Navin: St. Louis? Navin R. Johnson: No, Navin Johnson.
Navin Johnson
No, Navin Johnson.
Rigby Reardon
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
Rigby Reardon
I hadn't seen a body put together like that since I'd solved the case of the Murdered Girl with the Big Tits.
Rigby Reardon
Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L, and if you try to correct them, they kill you.
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
Aw shut up!Open Wide! Here I come!
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
Aw shut up! Open wide! Here I come!
Patty Bernstein
[provocatively] You know what I wanna do?
Navin Johnson
What's that?
Patty Bernstein
Guess *your* weight. [starts squeezing on him everywhere]
Navin Johnson
Hey, you're really trying to be accurate!
Navin Johnson
Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?
Navin Johnson
[Navin recites some wisdom] Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
Navin Johnson
For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.
Ned Nederlander
Chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip... LONNEEEEEEEE! [fires pistol]
Lucky Day
Farley-farley-farley-farley-farley-farley... Hafurrrrrrr... [fires pistol]
Dusty Bottoms
Kinut, hoooooola widdle! Tas, habble... sohn. [accidentally shoots the Invisible Swordsman]
Lucky Day
Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!
Ned Nederlander
[runs over to check] He's dead, all right.
Dusty Bottoms
How was I supposed to know where he was?
Lucky Day
You were supposed to fire up. *We* both fired *up*. [aside] It's like living with a six-year old.
Navin Johnson
He hates these cans!
Dave
But movies cost millions of dollars to make.
Bobby Bowfinger
That's after gross net deduction profit percentage deferment ten percent of the nut. Cash, every movie cost $2,184.
Bobby Bowfinger
Now that you and your colleagues here at Mindfu - , head have had a chance to think, what do you say?
Bobby Bowfinger
[Interviewing Jiff for the movie] ... Would you be willing to cut your hair?
Bobby Bowfinger
[Interviewing Jiff for the movie] Would you be willing to cut your hair?
Jiff Ramsey
Well, yeah, but it would probably be better if someone else did it. I've had a few... accidents.
Brad Harris
Of all courtship rituals in the animal kingdom, the most spectacular by far is that of the bald eagle. The male and female climb to dizzying heights and then ...join in free fall, plummeting toward earth, locked in each others embrace, separating only at the very last moment.
Stu Preissler
God, I miss Edith.
Kenny Bostick
Yeah, I kind of miss Jess.
Mr. Chairman
[talking to DJ Drake] Now!,..This my friend, is the ACME train of death, which is not good news for your father!
Damien Drake
[on TV screen] Don't worry about me son, I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this one!
Mr. Chairman
You see, if the train of death doesn't kill him, then those crates of TNT will, not to mention the two ton anvil hanging over his head, and oh!,..Look, there's the pendulum of doom! What's the pendulum of doom doing there?! I did not order the pendulum of doom!? It's overkill! Get rid of it! [Wile E. Coyote quickly draws up the pendulum from above Damien Drake]
Navin Johnson
You mean I'm going to stay this color??
Navin Johnson
You mean I'm going to stay this color?
Navin Johnson
Stan Fox: Damn these glasses. Navin R. Johnson: Yes, sir. [to the glasses] Navin R. Johnson: I damn thee.
Navin Johnson
That Patty must be a sweet girl.
Navin Johnson
First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.
Navin Johnson
The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!
Navin Johnson
Theses cans are defective!
Stu
"I can't miss the flight. There's not another one for a week."
Stu
I can't miss the flight. There's not another one for a week.
Stu
"January 1st I'm out of here."
Stu
January 1st I'm out of here.
Hannah Stubbs
And where did you learn to jump start a car?
Vinnie Antonelli
I learned it in the army.
Barney Coopersmith
You dont tip FBI men!
Vinnie Antonelli
Sure you do!
Navin Johnson
Speaking to Marie in bed while she sleeps] I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
Navin Johnson
[speaking to Marie in bed while she sleeps] I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
Stu
Am I nuts Edith?
Edith
Are you asking me as a therapist, or as a wife?
Stu
Which one is cheaper?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau
What? What did you say?
Gilbert Ponton
Nothing.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau
You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau
You mean, you didn't just say: 'Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car'?
Dolores Benedict
Get those assholes off the porch! (about the hired-help, standing next to potted plants, awaiting the couple at the door to the Doctor's mansion.. )
Dolores Benedict
Get those assholes off the porch! [about the hired-help, standing next to potted plants, awaiting the couple at the door to the Doctor's mansion]
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
huh! (laughs naievely).. They're called azeliahs...
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
Huh! [laughs naively] They're called azaleas.
Freddy Benson
"May I go to the bathroom?"
Freddy Benson
May I go to the bathroom?
Freddy Benson
Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom first?
Lawrence Jamieson
"Of course."
Lawrence Jamieson
Of course.
Lawrence Jamieson
Of course you may.
Freddy Benson
"Thank you."
Freddy Benson
Thank you.
Freddy Benson
[after a pause, and with relief] Thank you.
Neal Page
He says we're going the wrong way...
Neal Page
He says we're going the wrong way.
Del Griffith
Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?
Del Griffith
Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?
Neal Page
where's your other hand?
Neal Page
Where's your other hand?
Del Griffith
between two pillows.
Del Griffith
Between two pillows.
Neal Page
those aren't pillows!
Neal Page
Those aren't pillows!
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
*yells* Is somebody talkin' to you?!
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
[yells] Is somebody talking to you?!
Audrey
*says nervously* Oh, no....excuse me.
Audrey
[says nervously] Oh, no...excuse me.
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
Excuse me what?!!
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
Excuse me what?!
Audrey
Excuse me.....docta'.
Audrey
Excuse me.....doctor.
Navin Johnson
I was born a poor black child.
Orin Scrivello D.D.S.
Your gonna be a Dentist!!