Amie Simon

Amie Simon
Tomatometer-approved critic

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
79% Jojo Rabbit (2019) I know this world is dumpster fire of awful right now, but at least this movie made me feel light for a brief couple of hours. Waititi's excellent track record remains unblemished! - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 13, 2019
96% First Love (Hatsukoi) (2019) The film barrels into its third act in a glory of gunfire, swords, and of course, some gnarly decapitations. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 4, 2019
84% Downton Abbey (2019) This movie is the perfect end to Downton - everyone gets their moment, and all of their stories wrap up in a way that I loved. Of course I would love it if they did another one, but I'm also happy if this is the last thing we ever get. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 15, 2019
84% Villains (2019) This surprising little indie gem feels like it was made in another time, and if it didn't star Skarsgård & Monroe, I'd swear it was straight outta 1995. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 15, 2019
89% Riot Girls (2019) Riot Girls is a super fun, nostalgically bloody ride - I was rooting for Scratch and Nat the entire time, and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. It was such a goddamn joy watching these two women be fearless fucking bad-asses. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 12, 2019
62% It Chapter Two (2019) The whole thing is an overlong, jumbled, unenjoyable mess and the few flashbacks from the first movie only serve to highlight how empty this one feels. I have a new answer when someone asks me what the worst horror movie sequel is. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 5, 2019
97% Tigers Are Not Afraid (Vuelven) (2019) YES, writer and director Issa López's first venture into horror is just as good as you've been hearing. Tigers Are Not Afraid is a fantastic dark fairy tale that blends the horror of real life with the supernatural for an unforgettable watch. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 1, 2019
96% Be Natural: The Untold Story of Alice Guy-Blaché (2019) Have you ever heard of Director Alice Guy-Blaché? You probably haven't - and the reason isn't a huge surprise: THE PATRIARCHY. Thankfully Be Natural: The Untold Story of Alice Guy-Blaché, Directed by Pamela B. Green, is here to illuminate all of us. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2019
67% Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) The car chases in this thing are of course, INCREDIBLE, and I especially loved watching Brixton and his robot motorcycle slide effortlessly underneath trucks and move in ways you don't usually see vehicles - or humans - moving. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 1, 2019
85% Once Upon a Time In Hollywood (2019) Do you love Tarantino? Filmmaking? The history of Hollywood? The 60s? Cameos galore? Yes? Well then, go forth my friends, and see this. You'll probably love it. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 25, 2019
83% Midsommar (2019) Ari Aster's follow-up to Hereditary is everything I want in a fucked-up, fantastical, creepy cult horror film - and also more than that (but I can't tell you what that more is without spoiling everything for you ... - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 25, 2019
97% Toy Story 4 (2019) There is SO MUCH TO LOVE. Even though the core gang is pushed to the side to give Bo, Woody & Forky the main spotlight, I was absolutely thrilled with the directions the characters were taken in, and also with the new characters that were introduced. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 25, 2019
80% Late Night (2019) Sometimes you just want that magical, fantastical almost-fairy tale movie that you can laugh at with a good friend. I did that with mine, and we left the film with extremely good feelings; our reverence for Emma intact. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 13, 2019
83% Koko-di Koko-da (2019) A haunting and beautiful descent into maddening, never-ending grief. Not for the faint of heart, and definitely a film you'll never forget seeing. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 2, 2019
No Score Yet House of Sweat and Tears (Casa de sudor y lágrimas) (2018) This atmospheric horror film isn't filled with blood and gore, but it did produce an uncomfortable feeling of dread as I watched the minutes unspool. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 1, 2019
42% Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) I spent the entirety of King of the Monsters experiencing ASMR whenever Godzilla's signature RAWR was emitted, kicking my feet in excitement, and clapping while cackling maniacally whenever my fave monsters showed up. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted May 30, 2019
90% John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019) Bottom line: Parabellum is a little clunkier and a little campier than the previous two films, but it's still HELLA FUN and I will be happy watching Keanu do this until I die. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted May 15, 2019
83% Her Smell (2019) Its still feels rare and precious to see a movie that is headlined by a complex female lead and Elisabeth Moss CRUSHES the part in Her Smell as Becky Something ... - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 30, 2019
57% Pet Sematary (2019) It's always tough for Directors to take on a remake, especially when the original has established itself as a campy classic. But while I'm sympathetic to the challenges Kölsch & Widmyer faced, I feel like their version of Pet Sematary just did NOT work. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 5, 2019
57% The Hummingbird Project (2019) Alexander Skarsgård's performance is perfect, as usual, and I wish I could tell you that his spectacularly awkward dance down a hotel hallway was worth it - but all you really need is a GIF of that, and you're set. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 22, 2019
93% Us (2019) ... will have you on the edge of your seat, yelling at the screen, hiding behind your hands, and laughing through the entire film, even when it plunges into its completely insane third act. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 20, 2019
78% Captain Marvel (2019) There are so many great scenes here, but also an incredibly amazing moment when you see Carol Danvers throw off the last of her doubts and realize the full extent of her power and IT IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN ON SCREEN. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
29% The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011) Without suspense, graphic gore doesn't accomplish anything except making you look like you're trying too hard. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
17% Cursed (2005) Cursed just makes me sad. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
10% My Soul to Take (2010) There are a few interesting murders, and a few not so interesting-and there's more than enough splatter, but not so much that it can cover-up the terrible acting and script. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
No Score Yet Saint Ange (House of Voices) (2004) ... appropriately bleak (like a horror movie should be), and atmospherically, one of the better ghost stories I've seen. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
No Score Yet Ching yan (The Beast Stalker) (2008) A must-see for its brilliant performances and breath-taking camera work. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
60% Paper Heart (2009) Funny, charming, awkward, and totally believable ... - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
74% Voy a Explotar (I'm Gonna Explode) (2008) Spent a little too much time focusing on the ennui, and the writing played into predictability just a bit too easily. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
65% The Merry Gentleman (2009) The real star of this picture is MacDonald, whose range draws you in and makes you care about what's happening. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
97% The Hurt Locker (2009) Portraying the effects of war both psychologically and physically, The Hurt Locker features amazingly beautiful direction and superb performances. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
67% ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009) Once the extreme gore hits, the buckets of corn syrupy splatter and one liners don't stop (fans of Evil Dead and Dead Alive will be very, very happy). - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
No Score Yet Inju, la Bête dans l'Ombre (Inju: The Beast in the Shadow) (2008) Combining a heavy Film Noir influence and some S&M erotica, this film is fun despite its predictability with an equal number of laughs and excitement. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
70% Grace (2009) Director Paul Solet's slow yet solid pacing wears on the nerves effectively, and Ladd's portrayal of innocence and steadfast denial push the film from great to exceptional - with the help of some really exquisite gore. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 10, 2019
75% Cold Souls (2009) Clever and contemplative with excellent performances all around. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 10, 2019
85% 500 Days of Summer (2009) This film puts a fresh spin on romantic comedies in a few ways, and even its overly cutesy moments (a Hall & Oates dance number in the park) totally work. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 10, 2019
96% Herb & Dorothy (2008) Herb & Dorothy Vogel are my new heroes. They prove definitively that anyone can appreciate, love and buy art. Plus, it's clear they adore each other as much as they love their collection. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
37% Surrogates (2009) Somewhere in the super-boring part, they add a cliché twist to the already cliché plot, and if you give it even a tiny bit of thought, an ending you can spot within the first 15 minutes. I walked out entirely disappointed. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
73% Where the Wild Things Are (2009) This isn't just an adaptation of a beloved children's book-it's a reworking of the story that captures the essence of the thing and blows it out in a way that's both unexpected and familiar. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
44% The Box (2009) In short; it's kind of a mess. And as a whole, The Box doesn't add up to anything remotely entertaining. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
91% Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) A brutally believable story that could be happening to any girl right now, with an unknown actress who blows right off the screen and makes you feel everything she is. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
77% The Young Victoria (2009) The chemistry between Victoria and Albert is white hot, and as the young Queen, Emily Blunt commands the screen with such grace and ease that I'm surprised it took this long for her to get such a great starring role. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
69% Sherlock Holmes (2009) mostly forgettable - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
64% The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009) The contrast between the stark, bleak cities and the amazingly colorful, crazy acid-trip fantasy sequences was a visual treat. It definitely LOOKS fantastic. The problem is in the substance. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
18% Valentine's Day (2010) There's absolutely nothing here you haven't seen before, and some of it is downright insulting. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
46% Creation (2010) For a movie about someone as complex and important as Darwin, it's just not as interesting as it should be. I wish everyone involved had tried a little bit harder. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
27% Clash of the Titans (2010) Too much going on without any clear reason, almost no character development, HUGE plot holes, and none of the special effects were spectacular enough to make up for it. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
48% The Losers (2010) Sometimes when I say something is "f*cking ridiculous" I mean it in a good way, and sometimes I mean it in a bad way - but in the case of The Losers, well, it's kind of a mixed bag. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
15% A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) Dear makers of this thing: You guys are doing it wrong. So much so that I want to get you in a room and say, "I don't believe in you! You're not real!" until you disappear. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
88% Pranzo di Ferragosto (Mid-August Lunch) (2009) Starting out with lots of drama, but ending with lots of laughter, this film is a perfect light, uplifting story. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019