Jesse Hassenger

Jesse Hassenger
Jesse Hassenger's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Filmcritic.com PopMatters AV Club Brooklyn Magazine The Week

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
C 38% Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) Some movies twist; the Maleficent series politely flips on a signal before any turns. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 15, 2019
14% Jexi (2019) The smartphone epidemic is certainly fair game for satire, but while Jexi pokes fun at Phil, it ultimately isn't satirizing anything in particular because Phil is not much of anything in particular. - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 11, 2019
C 72% The King (2019) Most of The King is just unadorned semi-prestige, with a few gruesome severed heads rolling around for cred. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 7, 2019
23% Lucy in the Sky (2019) It's hard not to like Lucy in the Sky, not because it's especially likable or even skillful, but because Portman is so committed that she sometimes seems capable of making the movie worthwhile by sheer force of will. - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 3, 2019
B 76% Low Tide (2019) Low Tide is mostly a genre exercise. But it's a disciplined, rigorously entertaining one. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 1, 2019
100% The Irishman (2019) The retro clunkiness of these characters, well past their physical primes, is key to what makes The Irishman often surprisingly hilarious. - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 27, 2019
B- 82% Abominable (2019) For the first time in a while, DreamWorks seems to be trusting its filmmakers with a semi-original idea, rather than racing breathlessly to the finish line. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 19, 2019
C+ 28% Corporate Animals (2019) Even at a brisk 86 minutes, this feels like an awfully long meeting-and if the filmmakers really recognize that sensation, their movie doesn't show it. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
B- 88% Ready or Not (2019) So no, not a subtle movie. But a fairly satisfying one. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 19, 2019
C 48% Where'd You Go, Bernadette (2019) Readers will at least understand why this story exists in the first place. But even in the more successful first half of the movie, there are signs that Linklater has failed to crack the work as a whole. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 14, 2019
C- 59% Brian Banks (2019) This is a movie that seems utterly convinced that it's saying something profound, but proves difficult to actually parse. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 7, 2019
B+ 100% Norm Macdonald: Hitler's Dog, Gossip & Trickery (2017) Although his material is often bold, Macdonald's style remains decidedly and appealingly old-fashioned. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 6, 2019
B- 84% Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) Moner has the trickiest part, requiring her to embody the spirit of a child but the pluck of a more capable teenager. She makes Dora so endearing that even viewers who have little experience with the show may somehow feel a twinge of nostalgia for it. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 6, 2019
C- 29% Madness in the Method (2019) But as bodies pile up and Mewes becomes more frazzled, the movie's already-modest sense of gravitas slips away in favor of overacting, smirky violence, and a misplaced sense of amusement over men acting in any way effete. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 4, 2019
67% Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) It's still fun to watch [Dwayne] ohnson and [Jason] Statham bicker. But the self-conscious japery brings them closer than expected to Expendables territory, and allows Vanessa Kirby to run away with the movie. - The Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 2, 2019
B+ 90% Amy Schumer: Live From the Apollo (2015) This special doesn't hold the inspiration of her best sketches or the emotional pull of her movie. But Live At The Apollo does show how Schumer might blend the sensibilities of her other projects even when she's alone on stage. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 31, 2019
53% The Lion King (2019) The 2019 version of The Lion King is an apex of faux-live-action animation, with an impressive volume of photorealistic effects. It may be the dullest technological game-changer ever made. - The Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 15, 2019
82% Crawl (2019) Aja plays up the muck, gunk, and early hints of gore for all they're worth. Because the set dressing feels so tactile, the movie creates a genuine sense of atmosphere in a potentially generic setting. - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 13, 2019
100% Sarah Silverman: A Speck of Dust (2017) It's always hard to say for sure with comics, but for most of this special, it seems like Silverman is simply being herself-no playing necessary. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 12, 2019
B- 83% The Art of Self-Defense (2019) In a movie that often observes male dysfunction with some ironic distance, Eisenberg brings the satire closer to the bone. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 8, 2019
83% Midsommar (2019) Pugh's performance and Aster's filmmaking demand attention, even if they don't necessarily hold up to much scrutiny. - Nylon EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 27, 2019
B- 90% Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) Watts... smoothly steers some of that heavy MCU world-building back into goofy high-school comedy, and his cast is so winning that the movie's interpersonal surprises are often more exciting than its big plot twists. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 27, 2019
C+ 62% Yesterday (2019) Jack never attempts to impose his own personality on his endless and pleasant covers. Neither does Boyle. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 24, 2019
B 90% Plus One (2019) Plus One isn't much more than consistently amusing and sweetly romantic, but in the right hands, those qualities can still feel like a lot. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 10, 2019
23% Dark Phoenix (2019) The series ends recalling its strengths, but not fully embodying them. - The Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 7, 2019
C+ 79% Late Night (2019) Late Night is admirably eager to address the messy problems of the comedy world, but it ultimately can't stop cleaning up after itself. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 3, 2019
C 59% The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) Actual kids will probably enjoy The Secret Life Of Pets 2... But they might also start to sense just how mini this sequel feels, and start fidgeting after 15 or 20 minutes. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted May 29, 2019
97% Booksmart (2019) Feldstein and Dever are both terrific in it. - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
C- 57% Brightburn (2019) For such a specific, clever-on-paper idea, Brightburn follows a shockingly predictable turn of events, possibly because it has few reference points beyond other pop-culture stories. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted May 22, 2019
C+ 89% Rocketman (2019) As inventive as the movie gets in teasing out both the melancholy and the joy of John and Taupin's songs, Rocketman still genuflects toward the myth of biopic respectability. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted May 19, 2019
B 80% Photograph (2019) What's consistent about Photograph is the way it maintains the delicacy of a particularly fine short story, complete with some ghostly supporting characters and plenty of ellipses where more conventional movies would amp up the exclamation points. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted May 14, 2019
C+ 51% Tolkien (2019) There are times when the Tolkien the character seems more interested in his past than Tolkien the movie does. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted May 6, 2019
C- 68% Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019) Instead, Detective Pikachu settles into the generic rhythms of a second-tier '80s cop movie-in other words, noir for dummies. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted May 3, 2019
C- 28% UglyDolls (2019) Like their Troll ancestors, the UglyDolls combine an evergreen cuteness with a why-now lack of currency. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted May 1, 2019
94% Avengers: Endgame (2019) Infinity War may have proved that Marvel can pull off a massive superhero crossover event, but Endgame shows how much better these movies are when they pay attention to people, too. - The Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 25, 2019
D+ 61% Breakthrough (2019) Lots of small, potentially affecting dramas buzz around the center of Breakthrough before the movie swats them away to focus on the power of prayer. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 15, 2019
B- 47% Little (2019) Issa Rae holds the movie together with a delivery style that can go to offhand understatement as easily as an outburst. In either mode, she's cheerfully likable. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 10, 2019
63% Unicorn Store (2019) The movie constantly grasps for more than its surface charms. - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 4, 2019
B 89% Missing Link (2019) A sweet, distinctively animated bit of all-ages entertainment. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 3, 2019
3/10 42% Faster (2010) Looking good is just about all Faster does. - PopMatters EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 28, 2019
C 57% The Highwaymen (2019) The Highwaymen is a crucial reminder that good Dad Movies aren't as easy to make as they look. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 26, 2019
A- 100% Slut in a Good Way (Charlotte a du fun) (2019) Slut In A Good Way is more than the sum of its entanglements; the actors and the camera work so well together that it feels, at times, like a musical. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 25, 2019
C 33% Wonder Park (2019) But even before it gets to its conspicuously director-less end credits, Wonder Park has the unmistakable air of a promising movie no one has taken full responsibility for polishing into a good one. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 14, 2019
C+ 67% Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase (2019) The Hidden Staircase ultimately fails to introduce the younger members of its audience to the pleasures of movie detective. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 12, 2019
78% Captain Marvel (2019) What really stands out about Captain Marvel, then, is its approach to its hero's origin. Unlike Marvel's typically heavy-handed exposition, this movie only hints at a backstory it never truly reveals. The restraint is refreshing. - The Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
C+ 43% The Prodigy (2019) The filmmakers figure out how to make a creepy kid chilling again, then stop short, closing the case too early. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 6, 2019
B- 61% Alita: Battle Angel (2019) The movie is body horror, body action, and body romance, all Frankensteined together-and a lot of fun. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 1, 2019
C 22% Miss Bala (2019) It's the kind of thriller about violent turf wars, corruption, and sex trafficking that's rated PG-13, in case some 11-year-olds want to see it unaccompanied. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 31, 2019
B 85% The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part (2019) The Lego Movie 2 is lovable. - AV Club EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 26, 2019
89% The Kid Who Would Be King (2019) Why is someone as talented as Joe Cornish dedicating himself to different varieties of Amblin pastiche? - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 24, 2019