Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
3/5 53% Eli (2019) It's the equivalent of horror Mad Libs, but defying sensible rationale, dare I admit bemused appreciation for this freewheelin' genre bullshittery? - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 20, 2019
2/5 55% Wounds (2019) Wounds is two-thirds of a moral deterioration haunter that culminates with abrupt disappointment. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 19, 2019
6/10 67% Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) Double Tap is an expected but well-adjusted Zombieland sequel that does just a bit more "nutting up" than "shutting up" to justify its wait. - We Got This Covered EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 17, 2019
2.5/5 25% Trick (2019) Trick lives Halloween, breathes Halloween, and so desperately - detrimentally - wants to be another Halloween marathon mainstay. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 16, 2019
1/5 No Score Yet Holiday Hell (2019) A "holiday horror" anthology that lacks any "holiday" or "horror" appeal. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 14, 2019
2.5/5 25% Gemini Man (2019) Gemini Man is both a futuristic taste of what 120 frames per second can do for action cinema and a confirmation of the format's current limitations. - Atom Insider EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 10, 2019
3/5 92% The Lighthouse (2019) This might sound crass, but there's a true metaphor here: The Lighthouse loves the smell of its own farts (not necessarily a negative, either). - Atom Insider EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 8, 2019
3/5 61% The Furies (2019) The Furies reminds me, once again, the best video game adaptations aren't based on actual virtual properties. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 4, 2019
3.5/5 79% Sea Fever (2019) Hardiman's tension within confined seafaring quarters works to pressurize and constrict this "Cabin Fever meets The Thing aboard a trawling vessel." - Atom Insider EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 3, 2019
4/5 99% Knives Out (2019) You'll burst out laughing and adore how Johnson's cast plays their cards with confidence, masks their bluffs, and presents a gallery of rogues with enjoyable deceit. - Atom Insider EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 3, 2019
3.5/5 96% Sweetheart (2019) One woman, one gilled foe, one gorgeous escape ploy that rations tension as to sustain all 90-ish minutes. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 29, 2019
3/5 100% VFW (2019) Think of VFW as the action massacre midnighter your parents never wanted you to see, but you snuck into the VHS player at way too young an age after they went to sleep. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 29, 2019
3.5/5 86% The Long Walk (Bor mi vanh chark) (2019) The Long Walk is many things, but what sticks with me is Mattie Do's passionate dedication to emotional, raw-to-the-bone filmmaking. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 29, 2019
3.5/5 No Score Yet We Summon the Darkness (2019) We Summon The Darkness takes the stage as a headlining act bathed in tainted blood, light beers, and fangs-out maliciousness. Alexandra Daddario and Maddie Hasson's wild-child performances bring the satanic house down. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2019
3.5/5 100% The Pool (2019) The Pool is a pro-life crocodile attack flick set in a drained Olympic-sized swimming pool that is incredibly mean-spirited towards its main character, improbably audacious...and sponsored by Pizza Hut? - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2019
3.5/5 92% Jallikattu (2019) Jallikattu is alluring, unconscionable, and impossible to avert your eyes from - whether you're engaged with it or hating every second. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2019
3.5/5 No Score Yet Tammy and the T-Rex: Gore Cut (1994) You're watching Tammy and The T-Rex with a room full of friends, additional substances to ease out forthcoming giggles, and hunger for "so bad it's good" cinema on an inconceivable level. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2019
3/5 100% 4x4 (2019) 44 is lean, fascinatingly detailed, and punches into overdrive when excitement is most needed. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2019
3.5/5 68% Guns Akimbo (2019) It's like a Saturday morning cartoon for the criminally insane, and I mean that with love. - Atom Insider EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2019
3/5 No Score Yet Killer Sofa (2019) Killer Sofa is weird, sometimes unwieldy, but should delight those who giggled incessantly at the film's properly conveyed trailer. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 21, 2019
2/5 No Score Yet Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019) Hard to fault a filmmaker and franchise dying to evolve, but it's also hard not to feel let down by how Cognetti ends this Hell House LLC trilogy. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 17, 2019
3/10 52% 3 from Hell (2019) 3 From Hell is an ugly example of too much wicked style over zero intended substance. - We Got This Covered EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
1.5/5 28% Corporate Animals (2019) Pacing is wonky-wobbly, dark humor never as morbid as intended (or funny), and corporation satirization barely simmers above a lukewarm temperature. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
4/5 84% Synchronic (2019) Synchronic is beautifully macabre science fiction. Beyond fascinating. It engages, excites, and proves Justin Benson + Aaron Moorhead = today's most stimulating cinematic experiences on a level unmatched. - We Got This Covered EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2019
2.5/5 60% Satanic Panic (2019) This extra cheesy 'za-horror barely invokes the name of Papa John let alone Satan's right hand. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2019
1/5 45% Seeds (2019) Seeds answers no questions, justifies no voyeurism, and - please don't underestimate my hyperbole - is one of the illest conceived motion pictures this critic has ever endured. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 9, 2019
2.5/5 68% Haunt (2019) Contrived character stereotypes, generic "deadly attraction" beats, and little desire to present more than outdated SAW rigs under the guise of macabre entertainment. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 9, 2019
3/5 43% Gags the Clown (2018) GAGS THE CLOWN is no sideshow pushover. It's like MOCKINGBIRD meets SLENDER MAN but way, way better. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 8, 2019
3/5 85% Empathy, Inc. (2019) EMPATHY, INC. mirrors a breed of low-fi fantasy cut from PRIMER and ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW nanofibers. Black and white and sci-fi-freaky all over. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 8, 2019
1.5/5 No Score Yet Clownado (2019) Truly vile and gruesome microbudget effects work, but Clownado tries *so hard* to be the midnight exploitation horror flick it never ever becomes. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 8, 2019
7/10 63% It Chapter Two (2019) It Chapter 2 downgrades Pennywise's presence amidst the adult Losers' coming together, but is still a funhouse-freaky sequel that makes quite the statement in terms of scaling blockbuster horror bigger and grander. - We Got This Covered EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 3, 2019
2/5 67% The Banana Splits (2019) It's hard to imagine the thought process behind a property revival so out-of-left-field yet oddly noncommittal when it comes to sinister rebranding. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 30, 2019
10/10 89% Ready or Not (2019) Ready Or Not is an exquisite horror comedy heavy on familial dysfunction, heavier on gameplaying brutality, and always a reminder that Samara Weaving deserves to be the biggest of megastars. - We Got This Covered EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 21, 2019
2/5 5% Jacob's Ladder (2019) Jacob's Ladder (2019) differentiates itself as a sustainable remake should, but shies away from catastrophic dementia when "The Ladder" protocol kicks into gear. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 19, 2019
3/5 71% Gwen (2019) Gwen is a coldhearted story of classism and corruption via power, and the slowest of slow burns to be appreciated as such. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 18, 2019
3/5 41% 47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019) 47 Meters Down is still the alpha of this franchise pack, but Uncaged's stealth "slasher but with sharks" structure is an approved and entertaining surprise. - We Got This Covered EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 13, 2019
7/10 79% Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark is gateway horror that treats intended audiences to many a scream, pulling no punches nor watering down nightmarish conjurings that remind how healthy fearful emotions can be at any age. - We Got This Covered EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 8, 2019
2/5 42% Nekrotronic (2019) Nekrotronic extinguishes the sparks of ingenuity with a catastrophically bland sci-fi-paranormal-video-game-demon-hunter misfire. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 7, 2019
8/10 95% Harpoon (2019) Harpoon is one nasty fishhook that's impossible to yank out; a hateful and hilarious boat trip into hell. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 6, 2019
7.5/10 100% Blood on Her Name (2019) Blood On Her Name is a thrilling rumination on "right" versus "wrong," tension strung tight enough to slice through crowds like the opening scene in Ghost Ship. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 6, 2019
8/10 No Score Yet Sator (2019) Burning a slow wick towards a vile end, Jordan Graham's calling card becomes dreadful sorrow and invasive haunts. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 6, 2019
3/5 93% Kingdom (2019) Expect battlefield elegance and theatrical attack modes...an augmented history lesson that's hip and gets away with it. - Atom Insider EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 2, 2019
3.5/5 67% Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) Hobbs & Shaw is the summer's most bromanic comedy to be covered with lumps, bruises, and pound-for-pound brawn. - Atom Insider EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 31, 2019
6/10 44% Critters Attack! (2019) It's hard not to see Critters Attacks! as the cut-rate Gremlins it unwittingly becomes, but fans of the franchise will get exactly what they want. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 29, 2019
7/10 57% DreadOut: Tower of Hell (2019) Kimo Stamboel's solo directorial debut avoids the dreaded "video game adaptation" stigma that few have been able to conquer. - Slashfilm EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 29, 2019
3.5/5 64% Peter Rabbit (2018) Peter Rabbit is far from your garden-variety kiddie distraction. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 21, 2019
3.5/5 77% Braven (2018) Braven is the kind of 90s punch-in-the-mouth genre fans fight tooth-and-nail to find nowadays. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 21, 2019
4/5 71% Hostiles (2018) At the least, it's a plea for history not to repeat itself - with plenty of gut-check thrills and perilous storytelling to heighten the mood. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 21, 2019
2/5 41% Den of Thieves (2018) Den of Thieves is confoundingly familiar from structure to "gritty" character designs. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 21, 2019
5/5 100% Paddington 2 (2018) The perfect family film, this year or any other. - Flickering Myth EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 21, 2019