Noah Berlatsky

Noah Berlatsky
Tomatometer-approved critic
Biography:
Noah Berlatsky is a film and television critic. He writes for NBC Think Online, the Verge, the Escapist, Chicago Reader, and other venues. He is the author of Wonder Woman: Bondage and Feminism in the Marston/Peter Comics from Rutgers University Press.

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
83% Queen & Slim (2019) "Queen & Slim" director Melina Matsoukas is less interested in action and violence than in love. ....And that, as it turns out, makes the film both less predictable and more heartbreakingly political. - NBC News THINK EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 1, 2019
71% Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) "Terminator: Dark Fate," though, manages to fit its old clunky rotors and cogs smoothly into the socket of our apocalyptic present. - NBC News THINK EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 1, 2019
100% In Search of Darkness (2019) It's certainly an enjoyable documentary, and it's highly recommended to any horror fan. But the best horror movies are a little more ruthless than this. - The Verge EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 8, 2019
74% Ghostbusters (2016) It's as if, in exorcizing the original's misogyny, Ghostbusters has at last managed to find the soul it thought it had all along. - Quartz EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 23, 2019
84% Ad Astra (2019) The movie goes a long, long way around the universe to find the same boring, cold-hearted action hero as ever. - NBC News THINK EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 20, 2019
51% The Promise (2017) The Promise is a heartfelt film with noble ambitions - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
41% Dark Skies (2013) Dark Skies is alien encounter done on the cheap. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
77% Split (2017) M. Night Shyamalan's 2016 film Split takes abuse-as-character to a logical and absurd extreme. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
80% The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2010) The cynicism of the undertaking is a little numbing, but even so it's hard not to admire the efficiency of the mechanism. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
69% Limitless (2011) Limitless demonstrates with depressing finality that the power fantasies of adults are much more banal than the power fantasies of children. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
92% Source Code (2011) It's just a dumb Hollywood film. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
No Score Yet Gothic & Lolita Psycho (Gosurori shokeinin) (2010) Psycho Gothic Lolita goes right through genre and ends up in vertiginously pure filmmaking. Image and idea are manifestly the most important things, and director Ohara Go never lets logic distract him for a moment from the next shiny, shimmery set piece. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
36% Dark Shadows (2012) It's hard to imagine a 1970s without soul, even in Maine, but Dark Shadows pulls it off. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
100% More Than Honey (2013) More Than Honey is a reminder of how thoroughly humans have intertwined themselves with the other life on this planet, and vice versa. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
91% Marvel's The Avengers (2012) The movie is not utterly worthless in every way. I'll grant that. But does that mean it's good? Or even adequate? No. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
97% 13th (2016) From Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to Bulworth, the cause of political injustice always comes back to corruption. Ava DuVernay's documentary, 13th, follows a bit too glibly in this tradition-though it also, and admirably, transcends it. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
19% Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016) The film spirals into supposedly funny, but actually vindictive, violent fantasy. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
89% The Lego Batman Movie (2017) The personal growth storyline is glib, clichéd, and irritating. But the real question is, what is that personal growth storyline doing there at all? Who looked at Lego Batman and thought, what is the state of this Cowled Lego's soul? - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
No Score Yet Look Who's Back (Er Ist Wieder Da) (2015) Look Who's Back is only intermittently successful. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
93% Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Ends up a formulaic exercise. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
60% Murder On The Orient Express (2017) Murder on the Orient Express isn't a perfect adaptation, but it's hard to dislike a film that so blatantly lets you get away with murder. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
16% Blumhouse's Truth or Dare (2018) The cheesy clumsiness of Truth or Dare's plotting has the added bonus of laying bare the similarities between horror sadism and teen soap opera sadism. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
91% Hush (2016) It's an efficient and clever thriller, which unfolds with a preordained inevitability. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
62% Unfriended (2015) Unfriended is a pure distillation of exploitation cinema. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
83% Paranormal Activity (2009) The movie gets enormous mileage out of small, barely noticeable details-a door opening by itself, covers stirred by a breeze from nowhere, a chandelier swinging. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
17% The Lazarus Effect (2015) There's nothing wrong with the narrative as such; watching some monster murder a bunch of people is pretty much what you turn on a horror movie to see. The problem is that in this case neither the monster nor the victims are remotely interesting. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
50% Viral (2016) There's a lot of potential, but most of it's wasted. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
89% Creep (2015) The extended coda feels superfluous, even in a movie that's only 77 minutes. It also pushes the suspension of disbelief past the breaking point. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
6% Ouija (2014) It has no memorable characters, no memorable ideas, and indifferent acting. It's not bad enough to be funny or campy. Watching it is like staring at a dumb board for an hour and a half. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
59% Paranormal Activity 2 (2010) Despite its ambitions, Paranormal Activity 2 ends up demonstrating why horror sequels are so often not very sequential. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
No Score Yet Curve (2015) Curve could've been great if it had been willing to take a few different turns. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
98% Get Out (2017) Get Out is filled with wonderfully eerie performances. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
93% CAM (2018) Cam never figures out how to be both sexploitation and something else entirely. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2019
67% The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) Ritchie's sophisticated, multi-character drama says the world will be saved with wit, invention, and complex cooperation. Which is why it feels dated, and is struggling at the box office. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
50% Mirror Mirror (2012) Julia Roberts as the evil queen has outgrown both the goodness and the blandness, and she seems sincerely, exuberantly relieved. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
No Score Yet Wildness (2012) It's easy to see this as a story of exploitation... But things are a bit more complicated than that. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
41% The English Teacher (2013) Linda is characterized by the insistent voice-over as a romantic, too lost in her reading and dreams for authentic relationships. Those authentic relationships, are, in this context, the formulaic plot of rom-com. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
99% The Interrupters (2011) The Interrupters makes the case that if you want less killing, you need, not more guns, but more neighbors. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
45% Cowboys & Aliens (2011) Cowboys and Aliens purports to be a genre mash-up, which means that somebody needed to figure out how to integrate Western tropes with sci-fi ones. Unfortunately, no one bothered. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
81% Trollhunter (2011) It tries to be comedy; tries to be horror; staggers back and forth a little and then, getting into the swing of it, settles for just roaring a lot and knocking things over. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
28% Colombiana (2011) The final apocalyptic fistfight between Cattaleya and Marco is shot in kinetic jerky fast forward, presumably because the director was worried the clock would run out. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
26% Killer Elite (2011) Killer Elite doesn't have anything on its mind in particular; it's just fulfilling its function. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
95% The Muppets (2011) The clunky sporadic brilliance of yore is gone; in its place is a big, slick, hollow juggernaut, slathered in nostalgia, sentimentality, and a hollow winking irony meant to substitute for humor or ideas. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
31% Total Recall (2012) It's nothing but a third-rate genre exercise. - Quartz EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
66% Insidious (2011) If Insidious were willing to really embrace the connection between insidious possession and the insidious allure of gender deviance, it would be a much better film. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
95% 13 Assassins (2011) 13 Assassins is a samurai movie dedicated to giving you what you expect in a samurai movie - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
15% Priest (2011) The movie Priest was a surprisingly racist, semi-coherent piece of mindless Hollywood idiocy, complete with genocidal fantasies, derivative Blade-Runner-future stylings, and please-please-please-grant-us-a-sequel tripe ending. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
33% I Spit On Your Grave (2010) While I Spit on Your Grave is very aware of how men relate to each other, however, it has virtually nothing to say about how women interact. Its vision of female and, indeed, feminist empowerment, is entirely individual. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
62% Salt (2010) Like any generic spy thriller, Salt's plot lumbers through its twists like a lead snake, with characters dutifully switching sides not on the basis of logic or coherence, but rather on what will be most "surprising." - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019
51% Cool It (2010) One of the talking heads that Cool It drops on the unsuspecting viewer notes with the slightly condescending chuckle of the large-brained that Gore's film, An Inconvenient Truth, was a "great piece of propaganda." No doubt it was. So is this. - Splice Today EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 16, 2019