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No Such Thing

Play trailer Poster for No Such Thing R 2001 1h 41m Fantasy Comedy Play Trailer Watchlist
Watchlist Tomatometer Popcornmeter
31% Tomatometer 39 Reviews 59% Popcornmeter 2,500+ Ratings
Disgusted with human evolution, a foul-mouthed monster kills anyone who crosses his path. When a news crew sent to investigate the monster disappears, a guileless young woman is dispatched to follow up on the story. She befriends the monster and becomes his only hope in ending his life of misery.
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No Such Thing

No Such Thing

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Critics Consensus

Stocked with talented stars but lacking any clear idea of what to do with them, No Such Thing is ultimately far too uneven to recommend.

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Critics Reviews

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Rex Reed Observer Apr 10, 2002
I watched the brainless insanity of No Such Thing with mounting disbelief. Go to Full Review Stephanie Zacharek Salon.com Apr 5, 2002
No Such Thing may be far from perfect, but those small, odd Hartley touches help you warm to it. Go to Full Review Desson Thomson Washington Post Mar 29, 2002
2.5/5
Everything's serious, poetic, earnest and -- sadly -- dull. Go to Full Review Emanuel Levy EmanuelLevy.Com Mar 10, 2006
1/4
Instead of arresting a downward-spiralling career, Hartley's latest folly (one of the worst movies in Cannes 2001) shows what happens to an iconoclastic director when he neglects his intsinctive talent for small, quirly indies and goes uproariously big. Go to Full Review Oz eFilmCritic.com May 13, 2003
2/5
For a guy who has waited three years with breathless anticipation for a new Hal Hartley movie to pore over, No Such Thing is a big letdown. Go to Full Review Andrea Chase Killer Movie Reviews Apr 5, 2003
4/5
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Audience Reviews

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Delwin G @RT14133260 Jun 29, 2025 I found it to be a very uninique and original movie. Definitely not for the masses...its that good. See more Jeffrey P @vanillavoodoo1 Mar 12, 2023 Underrated. While it is a familiar type of story in more ways than one, not at all surprised if it's based on some old fable or fairy tale, it was well done and was able to keep my focus and interest. See more Mar 2, 2016 Not a horror movie. More like an Icelandic-American afterschool special. The monster has been around since the beginning of time. He has lived in Iceland for ages yet he has a New York accent. I made it near to the end but could not finish. My review is don't waste your time. See more Oct 12, 2015 This was the best movie I've ever seen, maybe the best movie ever made...until they make 'The Long Walk' ...a short story by Stephen King. See more Mar 22, 2015 Love this movie. District 9 type feel; with the monster (or alien, in District 9) seeming to represent humankind's self-created Satan. See more Jan 20, 2015 La vi hoy por cable se veia prometedora por la historia luego se puso aburridisima, que hacen Julie Christie y Helen Mirren? y una inexpresiva Sarah Polley le va mejor como directora. See more Read all reviews
No Such Thing

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Cast & Crew

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Hal Hartley

Director

Sarah Polley

Beatrice

Robert John Burke

The Monster

Helen Mirren

The Boss

Julie Christie

Dr. Anna

Baltasar Kormákur

Dr. Artaud

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No Such Thing

No Such Thing (2001) No Such Thing (2001) ROBERT BURKE stars in United Artists Films' (with American Zoetrope) satiric fable MONSTER HELEN MIRREN as The Boss and ROBERT JOHN BURKE as the Monster in Hal Hartley's satiric fable NO SUCH THING (from United Artists with American Zoetrope). SARAH POLLEY, JULIE CHRISTIE, and director HAL HARTLEY on the set of the satiric fable NO SUCH THING (from United Artists with American Zoetrope). ROBERT JOHN BURKE stars as the Monster in Hal Hartley's satiric fable NO SUCH THING (from United Artists with American Zoetrope). SARAH POLLEY and ROBERT JOHN BURKE in Hal Hartley's satiric fable NO SUCH THING (from United Artists with American Zoetrope). SARAH POLLEY stars as Beatrice in Hal Hartley's satiric fable NO SUCH THING (from United Artists with American Zoetrope). ROBERT BURKE and SARAH POLLEY star in United Artists Films' (with American Zoetrope) satiric fable MONSTER View more photos

Movie Info

Synopsis Disgusted with human evolution, a foul-mouthed monster kills anyone who crosses his path. When a news crew sent to investigate the monster disappears, a guileless young woman is dispatched to follow up on the story. She befriends the monster and becomes his only hope in ending his life of misery.
Director
Hal Hartley
Producer
Hal Hartley, Friðrik Þór Friðriksson, Cecilia Kate Roque
Screenwriter
Hal Hartley
Distributor
United Artists, MGM/UA Home Entertainment Inc.
Production Co
United Artists, True Fiction Pictures, American Zoetrope
Rating
R (Brief Violence|Language)
Genre
Fantasy, Comedy
Original Language
English
Release Date (Theaters)
Oct 12, 2001, Original
Release Date (Streaming)
Jun 3, 2016
Box Office (Gross USA)
$60.0K
Runtime
1h 41m
Sound Mix
Dolby Stereo, Dolby Digital, Dolby A, Dolby SR
Aspect Ratio
Flat (1.85:1)
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