The VelociPastor

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The VelociPastor

2018

1h 15m

Action

Adventure

Comedy

Horror

Fantasy

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Tomatometer

Popcornmeter

59%

Tomatometer

17 Reviews

71%

Popcornmeter

500+ Ratings

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

Kristy Puchko

Pajiba

08/15/2019

This dumb movie has a surprisingly sly sophistication...

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Martin Izzard

Flickering Myth

Jul 25

1/5

Even with the over the top silliness it’s clearly embracing and relishing in, it’s not quite able to be convincing enough as a spoof comedy of a B movie.

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Nicolas Soto

But Why Tho?

01/22/2023

7.5/10

[The Velocipastor] offers constant humor and action that’s reminiscent of films from the 70s and 80s. It never takes itself seriously, which makes it easier to enjoy the film even more.

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Dev Shea

Nightmarish Conjurings

09/15/2022

...If you go into THE VELOCIPASTOR just excited by the title and a man with dino hands, I think you are going to have an amazing experience in low budget indie horror.

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Josh Goller

Spectrum Culture

05/06/2022

Despite hammy acting, no-effort practical effects and a plot that feels like the sugar-fueled daydreams of a hyperactive eight-year-old, The VelociPastor finds redemption in how faithfully it embraces camp.

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Jason Shawhan

Nashville Scene

09/25/2021

2019's The VelociPastor is 75 minutes long and features dinosaur effects from Party City's inflatable aisle, but it knows exactly how seriously to take the material (not very). Cohan is disarmingly charming, and the laughs and gore pop up regularly.

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Justin T

@RT08580778 2d

"I don't know much about God." "I don't know much about dinosaurs." Why couldn't they at least attempt the infamous car in fire VFX. Apart from the dragon/velociraptor looking terrible they don't commit to the bad VFX joke. I liked the Grindhouse vibe and music. It's really not good but it is generally engaging and actually well made but made deliberately bad which makes it less fun. The tonal shifts are painful, going from actually well made film to garbage within the same scene. Tragic waste of talent.

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Sarah P

@Vel0cip4st0rFan123 Jun 28

Absolute fucking must see, best 75 minutes of my life, only thing that has ever come close to this movie for me personally in my opinion in Meth Gator (2024) from the year 2024 on march the 25th with an exact runtime of 85 minutes which equates to one hour and 25 minutes or roughly 5100 seconds, and Killer Sofa. This movie was the best movie oat of all time and i stand by that in my own opinion personally imo Interstellar aint got shi on this masterpiece

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Jade L

@uncannyAlien Jun 24

Do not come in expecting a serious film. This is one of those projects made simply for the joy of making, and that's all I need. It's a ridiculous concept built on a shoestring budget and the film knows this and leans into it. Absolutely delightful, a simple story, you're mostly there for the gags. One of my favorite B-level films(if it's even that idk). 4 stars!

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Arihanna K.

@ilikecomedies12 Jun 8

Fever dream. Its so bad its good. I loved every second of whatever the heck this low budget movie is. I'll be watching this again.

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Precious E

@RT11040780 May 19

The movie was very interesting because somehow the guy could turn himself into a dinosaur. The movie had humor and horror. I enjoyed the movie overall.

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Jaden G

@RT57257977 May 18

This movie was a bit hard to take seriously and was definitely corny but it was still creative and fun to watch. It kept me entertained and laughing which made it a fun watch and something I will remember in the future.

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Brendan Steere

Director

Greg Cohan

Doug Jones

Alyssa Kempinski

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Daniel Steere

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Aurelio Voltaire

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Synopsis

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

Director: Brendan Steere
Producer: Jesse Gouldsbury, Brendan Steere, Brandon Taylor
Screenwriter: Brendan Steere
Production Co: Cyfuno Ventures, Laika Come Home, Hollow Tree Films
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Horror, Fantasy
Original Language: English
Release Date (Streaming): Aug 13, 2019
Runtime: 1h 15m