Track of the Moonbeast

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05/09/2020 So very terrifically terrible! The shirtless hunk, the blonde airhead, the Indian expert, the mumbo jumbo scientific explanations about meteorites and the moon. Lame drive-in drivel with zero continuity or plot development. Watch the last 10 minutes for some laughable lizard-killing in dayglow flashing red. Would've been ideal fodder for Mystery Science Theater. See more 12/19/2013 I'll be honest here. This movie is a complete blur to me. I remember a few things, but not enough to put together a storyline in my head that makes me understand it. What's sad about Track of the Moon Beast is that I watched it just recently, and I was quite awake when I watched it. The fact that I can't remember anything about it speaks volumes about its content. It's mainly just a blur of images and some semblance of a story, but none of it is memorable enough and nothing stood out to me. One can only hope that the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew really stuck it to it, since it was featured on an episode of the show. They can be very good at that when given the right material, and this is right up their alley. See more 06/29/2010 21/100. The acting is so bad, it is hard to get past that. When I did, I realized the score was just as bad. The story is preposterous, and the special effects are just dreadful. I realize that the budget must have been extremely low, but that doesn't mean that everything has to be poorly done. It's very unprofessional. It is bad enough at times to be entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons. See more 01/25/2007 A tiny space-rock fragment is lodged in the brain of archeologist Paul Carlson (Cordell) when a meteor crashes near where he was stargazing with his free-lovin' honey, Kathy (Drake). Now, whenever the moon is in the sky, he transforms into a hideous, reptillian creature and goes on murderous rampages. To make matters worse, the moon rock is causing his body to become "molecularly unstable" and he'll soon explode like a mini-atombomb! Will his American-Indian collegue, Johnny "Longbow" Salina (Sala) be able to use science and ancient Native Wisdom to save or slay Paul before he blows up? More importantly, will any viewer (but one who is recovering from surgery and feeling little pain due to Percecet and muscle relaxants) manage to stick with this turd of a movie to the end? "Track of the Moon Beast" should not be viewed by anyone. In fact, the CIA and the iterrogators at GitMo should be using it as a device to "encourage" prisoners to talk. The time spent watching this movie was among the longest 80 minutes of my life... and that's even considering the fact I watched it while medicated AND flipping through old comic books! The acting is universally wooden, the dialogue atrociously written, and the camerawork and other production values are barely competent. In some cases they aren't even that, such as during the painfully bad time-lapse photography sequence of Paul transforming into the Moon Beast. Or maybe when one changes from a human to a giant, humanoid reptile, an extra set of eyes and a second nose appear and dissapear as part of the process. I understand there's a hilarious version of this film that was broadcasat during the run of "Mystery Science Theater 3000". If this is true, then that demonstrates the difference between professional hecklers and amateurs. I wouldn't even recomment this film for a Bad Movie Party. It's a sign of the unfairness of the universe that a great monster movie like "The Gorgon" ([url="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/journal_view.php?journalid=245672&entryid=248209&view=public"]review here[/url]) isn't preserved on DVD, but crap like "Moon Beast" is. Track of the Moon Beast Starring: Chase Cordell, Donna Leigh Drake, Gregorio Sala, and Joe Blasco Director: Dick Ashe See more 10/20/2006 [size=3][size=2]Damn, what a morning! Work sucks. At least the movie watching makes up for it. Five flicks yesterday!! Took me half the morning to write all this. :p[/size] [u][b] Thursday, October 19th[/b][/u][/size] [b]74. Track of the Moon Beast. (1976)[/b] A movie that knows what the average mid-1970s viewer wants: swapping stew receipes, attending weird folk rock concerts, and watching shirtless scientists turn into lizard suit-wearing monsters that stalk pro bowlers who arrive home drunk. :up: It's groovy! (or whatever the slang term was for those crazy 1970s people). This is right along the lines of [i]The Bloodwaters of Dr. Z[/i] but maybe slightly easier to watch. Luckily I was able to see the version skewered by the TV show [i]Mystery Science Theater 3000[/i]. Those guys are pros and manage to make this movie hilarious! 4/10 [img]http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/user/smilies/rotten.gif[/img] (MST3K upgrade 10/10) [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/moonbeast.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]Peter Jackson could learn from these awesome horror movie visuals of the 1970s. [/size] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/moonbeast2.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]In case you don't know, this is Crow T. Robot. He watches the movies with Mike or Joel (one of the human dudes) and another robot called Tom Servo. [/size] [b]75. Body Snatchers. (1993) [/b]Well, I didn't have the original and I just watched the 1970s remake in August so this was all I had. It's not bad and acted as a good remake double feature with the flick I watched after it. This is definately the weaker of the 2 remakes and not as good as the next flick I watch. There just isn't a good sense of paranoida as you'd expect. I guess it's because they never establish how wide-spread the "problem" is. It's okay as a flick. It's greatest strength is in Anwar or Tilly. Yummy! That casting saves this. It's a shame they couldn't do more than this. They had Ermey and Whittaker as well but they are nearly wasted. Overall a disappointment that almost wasn't worth watching at this late time in my horrorthon. Oh well... :( 6/10 [img]http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/user/smilies/fresh.gif[/img] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/body.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]She's lovely. And [i]either way[/i] I'd be picking splinters out of certain parts of my body.[/size] ;) [b]76. The Blob! (1988)[/b] Now here's a remake! I haven't seen the Steve McQueen version of this in many years but I sure don't remember it being this much fun! The cast is good, the effects are perfectly gooey, the storyline is typical horror/sci-fi with a nice drive-in movie influence. There's some great humor here and there. What can else can you say? There's even a cute cheerleader, a motorcycle riding bad dude, and a scene taking place in a movie cinema (I love movies within movies...I need to look this one up and see if it's real or just made for this). 7/10 [img]http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/user/smilies/fresh.gif[/img] (nostalgia upgrade 9/10) [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/blob2.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]Looks like his bubble gum desided to bite back.[/size] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/blob.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]A surprisingly good movie couple. Those Dillons play the town bad boy bit better than anybody. [/size] [b]77. The Walking Dead. (1936)[/b] I don't know why this wasn't in RT's database unless it goes by a different name. Anyway, this was Boris Karloff's first film after signing with Warner Brothers. It has a very good mix of humor and suspense with a typically good (and quite tense) Karloff performance. The destiny story device works really well, so pay attention to that...and look for topical stuff of the time period making it into the story. 8/10 [img]http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/user/smilies/fresh.gif[/img] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/walkingdead2.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]Stylish poster.[/size] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/walkingdead.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]WB does [i]Frankenstein[/i] without having to appear in court because of it. [/size] ;) [b]78. House of 1000 Corspses. (2003)[/b] Great. :mad: I don't have time to make endless comments on this freaking crazy grindhouse horror from Rob Zombie. It's really ficked up and that's all there is to it. Disarming at first and then over-the-top with dark gory humor. If you can just sit back and laugh at it you're good. It nearly loses me in the middle because it gets so damn cruel. Seriously, if every flick in my horrorthon was like this one I'd fail miserably. I'd need professional help. But a Horrorthon needs 3 or 4 like this...but spread out and not watched all together. Chicken? Bok, bok, bok? Yep. :p This is pretty darn creative for what is it. I really like the cast Zombie got for it. I hope his stuff doesn't continue to go further in the same direction as [i]Devil's Rejects[/i] does. I think the prospect of Zombie doing a remake of [i]Halloween[/i] is an exciting one. I'm looking forward to that because I think he can pull it off. :up: Rating this is tough. I really think it successfully ups the ante on what old flicks like [i]Motel Hell[/i] were trying to do. Just freaky and uncomfortable! 8/10 [img]http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/user/smilies/fresh.gif[/img] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/house1000.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]Captain Spalding is one of the more pleasant clowns I've ever seen. Most are repulsive. :p[/size] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/house10004.jpg[/IMG] A costume you can buy (or possibly rent) if you want to actually scare anybody at halloween. [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/house10002.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]This might be the scariest part of the movie. I'm usually squirming. [/size] [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/radioman970/house10003.jpg[/IMG] [size=1]Here's "Baby". Yeah, she's yummy. And giggles A LOT. If her face was the last one I saw before dying I wouldn't be totally disappointed. [/size] See more Read all reviews

Track of the Moonbeast

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