Mark Wahlberg

Mark Wahlberg

  • Highest Rated: 94% Three Kings (1999)
  • Lowest Rated: 12% Renaissance Man (1994)
  • Birthday: Jun 5, 1971
  • Birthplace: Dorchester, Massachusetts
  • Before he started acting, Mark Wahlberg was best known as Marky Mark, the pants-dropping rapper who attained fame and notoriety with his group the Funky Bunch. In the tradition of Will Smith and Ice Cube, Wahlberg has made a successful transition from music to film, garnering particular early praise for his role in Boogie Nights.Born June 5, 1971, in Dorchester, MA, Wahlberg had a troubled early life. One of nine children, he dropped out of school at 16 (he would later earn his GED) and committed a number of minor felonies. After working various odd jobs, Wahlberg briefly joined brother Donnie and his group New Kids on the Block before forming his own, Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch. The group had widespread popularity for a time, most notably with its 1992 hit single "Good Vibrations." However, it was Wahlberg himself who received the lion's share of attention, whether it was for the homophobia controversy that surrounded him for a time, or for the 1992 Calvin Klein ad campaign featuring him wearing nothing more than his underwear, Kate Moss, and an attitude. In 1993, Wahlberg turned his attentions to acting with a role in The Substitute. The film, co-starring a then-unknown Natasha Gregson Wagner, was a critical and commercial failure, but Wahlberg's next project, 1994's Renaissance Man, with Danny De Vito, gave him the positive notices that would increase with the release of his next film, The Basketball Diaries (1995). Although the film received mixed reviews, many critics praised Wahlberg's performance as Mickey, Leonardo Di Caprio's friend and fellow junkie. Following Diaries, Wahlberg appeared in Fear (1996) in the role of Reese Witherspoon's psychotic boyfriend.It was with the release of Paul Thomas Anderson's Boogie Nights in 1997 that Wahlberg finally received across-the-board respect for his commanding yet unassuming performance as busboy-turned-porn-star Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler. The film was nominated for three Oscars and a slew of other awards by associations ranging from the British Academy to the New York Film Critics Circle to MTV. The positive attention landed Wahlberg on a wide range of magazine covers and gave him greater Hollywood pulling power. He had, as they say, arrived. Wahlberg's follow-up to Boogie Nights was 1998's The Big Hit, an action comedy that, particularly in the wake of Boogie Night's acclaim, proved to be a disappointment. This disappointment was hardly lessened by the relative critical and commercial shortcomings of Wahlberg's next film, The Corruptor (1999). An action flick that co-starred Chow Yun-Fat, The Corruptor showcased Wahlberg's familiar macho side and indicated that success in Hollywood is a strange and unpredictable thing. Though he gained positive notice for his role in David O. Russell' s unconventional war film Three Kings the same year, the film was only a moderate success, paving the way for an even more dramatic turn in the downbeat true story of the ill-fated Andrea Gail, The Perfect Storm, in 2000.The following year found Wahlberg filling some big shoes -- and receiving some hefty criticism as a result -- with his lead role in Tim Burton's much-anticipated remake of Planet of the Apes. Taking over the role that Charlton Heston made famous, Wahlberg found himself pursued onscreen by sinister simians, as well as offscreen by critics who decried the lack of depth that the actor brought to the role. Late that summer, Wahlberg came back down to Earth -- specifically to the everyday-Joe-rises-to-fame territory of Boogie Nights -- with Rock Star, the story of a tribute-band singer who gets a chance to sing for the band he idolizes. Though his noble attempt to fill the considerable shoes of Hollywood legend Cary Grant in the 2002 Charade remake The Truth About Charlie would be only slightly exceeded by his assumption of the role originally played by Michael Caine in the following year's remake of The Italian Job, Wahlberg would subsequently prove that there's nothing like the fr

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

No Score Yet The Six Billion Dollar Man Producer Steve Austin 2020
No Score Yet 100%: Julian Edelman Actor 2019
82% Instant Family Pete 2018
23% Mile 22 Producer James Silva 2018
No Score Yet The Cure Actor 2018
79% All the Money in the World Fletcher Chase $20.2M 2017
21% Daddy's Home 2 Dusty Mayron $103M 2017
No Score Yet Pai em dose dupla 2 Executive Producer Dusty Mayron 2017
15% Transformers: The Last Knight Cade Yeager $130.2M 2017
80% Patriots Day Producer Sgt. Tommy Saunders $31.9M 2017
83% Deepwater Horizon Mike Williams $73.1M 2016
31% Mojave Norman 2016
31% Daddy's Home Dusty 2015
45% Ted 2 John Bennett $63.9M 2015
No Score Yet Stealing Cars Executive Producer 2015
33% Entourage Himself Producer 2015
61% Champs Actor 2015
25% Manny Actor 2015
43% The Gambler Producer Jim Bennett $18.9M 2014
18% Transformers: Age of Extinction Cade Yeager $206.8M 2014
75% Lone Survivor Marcus Luttrell Producer $97.7M 2014
80% Prisoners Executive Producer $61M 2013
64% 2 Guns Marcus "Stig" Stigman $73.6M 2013
51% Pain & Gain Daniel Lugo $49.4M 2013
28% Broken City Billy Taggart Producer $19.7M 2013
No Score Yet Three Mississippi Actor Producer 2013
No Score Yet Mojave Actor 2013
68% Ted John Bennett $218.2M 2012
51% Contraband Producer Chris Farraday $66.5M 2012
91% The Fighter Micky Ward Producer $93.6M 2010
78% The Other Guys Det. Terry Hoitz $119.3M 2010
66% Date Night Holbrooke $98.8M 2010
32% The Lovely Bones Jack Salmon $44M 2009
16% Max Payne Max Payne $40.7M 2008
18% The Happening Elliot Moore $64.6M 2008
57% We Own the Night Producer Joseph Grusinsky $27.7M 2007
47% Shooter Bob Lee Swagger $47.1M 2007
91% The Departed Dignam $132.4M 2006
72% Invincible Vince Papale $57.8M 2006
52% Four Brothers Bobby Mercer $74.5M 2005
78% Overnight Actor 2004
63% I Heart Huckabees Tommy Corn $12.8M 2004
No Score Yet Juvies Narrator Executive Producer 2004
73% The Italian Job Charlie Croker $106M 2003
34% The Truth About Charlie Joshua Peters $5.3M 2002
52% Rock Star Chris `Izzy' Cole $16.6M 2001
45% Planet of the Apes Capt. Leo Davidson $178.1M 2001
64% The Yards Leo Handler 2000
47% The Perfect Storm Bobby Shatford 2000
94% Three Kings Troy 1999
48% The Corruptor Danny Wallace 1998
41% The Big Hit Melvin Smiley 1998
93% Boogie Nights Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler 1997
79% Traveller Pat 1997
44% Fear David McCall 1996
46% The Basketball Diaries Mickey 1995
12% Renaissance Man Tommy Lee Haywood 1994
No Score Yet The Substitute Westerburg 1993

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

72% Ballers
2015
Executive Producer Producer
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2015
  • 2014
No Score Yet Wahlburgers
2014
Reality cast member Executive Producer Producer
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2014
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden
2015
Guest Appearing
  • 2018
  • 2017
No Score Yet Shooter
2016-2018
Executive Producer
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
No Score Yet The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
Guest
  • 2018
  • 2016
No Score Yet The Talk
2010
Guest
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2014
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Guest
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2014
  • 2010
  • 2008
  • 2007
  • 2006
41% Chelsea
2016-2017
Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet Inside the NFL
2014
Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet Late Night With Seth Meyers
2014
Guest
  • 2017
  • 2015
  • 2014
No Score Yet Conan
2010
Guest
  • 2017
  • 2014
  • 2012
  • 2010
No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2013
  • 2007
No Score Yet Charlie Rose
2013-2017
Guest
  • 2016
  • 2013
No Score Yet The View
1997
Guest
  • 2015
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
2005-2014
Guest
  • 2014
60% Tyrant
2014-2016
Producer
  • 2014
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest
  • 2014
  • 2012
92% Boardwalk Empire
2010-2014
Executive Producer Producer
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2012
  • 2011
  • 2010
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2007
  • 2004
  • 2001
  • 2000
No Score Yet The Show With Vinny
2013
Guest
  • 2013
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest
  • 2013
  • 2012
  • 2011
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest
  • 2013
  • 2010
66% How to Make It in America
2010-2011
Executive Producer Producer
  • 2012
  • 2011
  • 2010
No Score Yet 60 Minutes
1999
Appearing
  • 2011
66% Entourage
2004-2011
Creator Guest Himself Executive Producer Producer
  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2009
  • 2008
  • 2007
  • 2006
  • 2005
  • 2004
87% In Treatment
2008-2010
Executive Producer Producer
  • 2010
  • 2009
  • 2008
No Score Yet Top Gear
2002
Guest
  • 2009
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Appearing
  • 2008

QUOTES FROM Mark Wahlberg CHARACTERS

Paul Doyle
Did you say your friend kept athletic supplies in his warehouse?
Daniel Lugo
Do we have to have this conversation now? Over! What's the problem?
Paul Doyle
I'm lookin at a lot of homo stuff right now Patriot one. A lot.
Ted
What's you're middle name?
Samantha Jackson
Leslie
John Bennett
Oh my god, you're Sam L. Jackson!
Samantha Jackson
Who is that?
Ted
Haven't you seen any movie ever? He's the black guy.
Dignam
Oh you're a fucking genius huh? Who forged you're transcript, dickhead?
Joshua Joyce
It's a big magnet!
Cade Yeager
It's sucking up metal and dropping it!
Daniel Lugo
I can deal with his impotence. I cannot deal with your incompetence.
Cade Yeager
I think we just found a Transformer.
Cade Yeager
Will we ever see you again?
Optimus Prime
Cade Yeager, I do not know. But whenever you look to the stars, think of one of them as my soul. Defend this family, Autobots. As they have you. Defend all they can be.
Cade Yeager
What do you think being human means, that's what we do. We all make mistakes Sometime those mistakes turn into something more beautiful.
Shane Dyson
I'm Her Boyfriend
Cade Yeager
What?
Tessa Yeager
Yes Dad, He's My Boyfriend
Cade Yeager
Tessa, You're So Grounded!
Cade Yeager
Oh, man. I'm so gonna patent this shit.
Cade Yeager
Teenagers...
Optimus Prime
I went through the same thing with Bumblebee.
Harold Attinger
I'm only going to ask you this once, Where is Optimus Prime?
Cade Yeager
You tell me.
Marcus Luttrell
That's not a knife, that's a fucking duck!
Ted
Why are you crying?
John Bennett
My dick is squished by the TV.
Det. Terry Hoitz
I don't like you. If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, I'd swim out to the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! Then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Marcus "Stig" Stigman
I got a plan. I mean, I'm capable of coming up with a plan.
Marcus Luttrell
I don't go home, you don't go home
Marcus Luttrell
I don't go home, you don't go home.
Matt Axelson
If I die, make sure Cindy knows how much I love her. And that I died here with my brothers, with a full fucking heart.
Marcus Luttrell
You're not going to die.
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Okay. Well, then you choose who we take. Tell the others it's not convenient and they're gonna have to die because I can't do that, Chief, okay? You're gonna have to do that yourself.
Debbie Barlow
What was that?
Sergeant Troy Barlow
A wall just exploded.
Debbie Barlow
I thought the war was over, honey.
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Well, it is and it isn't, babe. Could you do me a favor and call the Reserve Center?
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Hey, I got a family. If I'm gonna shit in a bag for the rest of my life because I got shot after the war was over, that'd be pretty fuckin' stupid, wouldn't it, Major?
Conrad Vig
Blacks make better receivers than quarterbacks.
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Stop speaking right now, Conrad.
Chief Elgin
Warren Moon is one of the best quarterbacks in the league.
Conrad Vig
Houston's gone nowhere with Warren Moon.
Chief Elgin
What about Randall Cunningham?
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Chief, don't get in the mud with him, man.
Conrad Vig
Ahhhh, Eagles'll never make it to the Super Bowl with Randall Cunningham.
Chief Elgin
Doug Williams not only took the Redskins to the Super Bowl, but they won.
Conrad Vig
Yeah, so?
Sergeant Troy Barlow
We can all agree there are many excellent black quarterbacks.
Conrad Vig
Lord knows what vermin live in the butt of a dune coon.
Chief Elgin
Why do you let this cracker follow you around, man?
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Aw, he's alright, man, he's got no high school, he's from a group home in Dallas. He doesn't know any better.
Conrad Vig
Don't tell people that.
Chief Elgin
I don't give a shit if he's from Johannesburg. I don't want to hear "dune coon" or "sand nigger" from him or anybody else.
Conrad Vig
Captain uses those terms.
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Look, Conrad, the point is that "towel head" and "camel jockey" are perfectly good substitutes.
Chief Elgin
Exactly.
Conrad Vig
I apologize, it's just confusing with all this pro-Saudi, anti-Iraqi type language and all that.
Marcus "Stig" Stigman
You ever heard the saying "You gotta face only a mother could love?" Well that don't apply to you, you are uglier than the devil's asshole itself.
Marcus "Stig" Stigman
[To Papi Greco:] You know I've been rackin my brain, trying to figure out who you look like and it finally donned on me.. You look like a Mexican Albert Einstein. Minus the genius factor, obviously. Want some yogurt?
Marcus "Stig" Stigman
You know I've been rackin my brain, trying to figure out who you look like and it finally donned on me.. You look like a Mexican Albert Einstein. Minus the genius factor, obviously. Want some yogurt?
Marcus Luttrell
Next one Shane.
Shane Patton
Have fun you lucky bastard.
Mike Murphy
I wanna be on you.
Marcus Luttrell
I wanna be on you.
Mike Murphy
On you.
Danny Dietz
New grass leads to new bushes by the window, leads to new windows, leads to new curtains, leads to new sofa, leads to new rug, leads to new floor...
Mike Murphy
Got it.
Marcus Luttrell
Loss of control. Got to let that go bro.
Danny Dietz
It’s like this weird journey that she’s on. Moving through the house one room to the next.
Danny Dietz
It's like this weird journey that she's on. Moving through the house one room to the next.
Mike Murphy
Why? How much do they cost?
Marcus Luttrell
I don’t know. Oprah money.
Mike Murphy
Fuck.
Marcus Luttrell
Since when does she want an Arabic horse?
Mike Murphy
Since I got an email this morning. Probably saw it on Oprah.
Marcus Luttrell
Oprah rides Arabic horses?
Mike Murphy
I don’t know what Oprah does.
Mike Murphy
I don't know what Oprah does.
Marcus Luttrell
I don’t see anything but steep. I could be wrong. Hope I’m wrong. If it’s anything but steep I’m not seeing it.
Marcus Luttrell
I don't see anything but steep. I could be wrong. Hope I'm wrong. If it's anything but steep I'm not seeing it.
Danny Dietz
Just put your feet where I put my feet. All day long. You’re gonna love it.
Danny Dietz
Just put your feet where I put my feet. All day long. You're gonna love it.
Marcus Luttrell
We wanted that fight at the highest volume. The loud fight. The loudest, coldest, hottest, most unpleasant of the unpleasant fights.
Marcus Luttrell
An unrelenting desire to push yourself harder and further than anyone could think possible.
Marcus Luttrell
There’s a storm inside of us. I’ve heard many team guys speak of this. A burning. A river. A drive.
Marcus Luttrell
There's a storm inside of us. I've heard many team guys speak of this. A burning. A river. A drive.
Daniel Lugo
Sometimes God just fucks up your order and you gotta chow down on that shitty shame sandwich.
Daniel Lugo
My name is Daniel Lugo. And I believe in fitness.
Daniel Lugo
My name is Daniel Lugo and I believe in fitness.
Daniel Lugo
I love my new home. My new neighborhood. And my little brat pack crew.. I kept it real wit them lil mufuckas, and they kept it real wit me.
Daniel Lugo
I love my new home. My new neighborhood. And my little brat pack crew. I kept it real wit them lil mufuckas and they kept it real wit me.
Daniel Lugo
What are you lookin at you lil chubby broad? Don't eyeball me, boy. I see your mother driving up an down the street lookin at me; I'll be your stepfather by the week.
Daniel Lugo
What are you lookin at you lil chubby broad? Don't eyeball me, boy. I see your mother driving up an down the street lookin at me. I'll be your stepfather by the week.
Marcus "Stig" Stigman
"Are we people?"
Marcus "Stig" Stigman
Are we people?
Det. Allen Gamble
Are you a big man? Huh? I'm talking to you!
Det. Terry Hoitz
What?
Det. Allen Gamble
Do you wake up in the mornin' and say, "I'm puttin on my big boy pants. Look, I'm wearin' a belt. I got big boy pants on."
Det. Terry Hoitz
No.
Det. Allen Gamble
Put on a little jacket, you go, you take you lunch cause you have big boy pants on? You got your big boy pants and your snack? I can say big loud things! I can be demonstrative!
Det. Terry Hoitz
Stop!
Det. Allen Gamble
We don't, we don't do this!
Det. Terry Hoitz
You're scarin' the shit outta me man, stop it!
Det. Allen Gamble
Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy?
Sergeant Dignam
Yeah, shoot a cop Eitstein! Watch what happens!
Colin Sullivan
Yeah, shoot a cop Einstein! Watch what happens!
Billy Costigan
What would happen is that this bullet would go right through your fucking head!
Lori
Welcome back, Ted.
John Bennett
It was you. You did it.
Ted
Son of a bitch. You wished for my life back.
Lori
No. I wished for my life back.
John Bennett
I thank you for saving every one of us!
David McCall
Hey Mr. Walka!
David McCall
Nicole, get me a Coke.
David McCall
You filthy little whore!
David McCall
Just you and me Nicole, nobody else.
Nicole Walker
Nobody else [kisses David back]
Nicole Walker
Nobody else.
David McCall
Do you want me?
Nicole Walker
Yes.
David McCall
Tell me, tell me you want me.
Nicole Walker
I want you David.
David McCall
Yeah?
Nicole Walker
[nods her head] David?
Nicole Walker
David?
Nicole Walker
I love you.
Nicole Walker
Isn't this the car they stopped making 'cause it, I don't know, blows up or something?
David McCall
Guess that's why I got her.
Nicole Walker
Isn't this the car they stopped making 'cause it, I don't know, blows up or something?
David McCall
Guess that's why I got her.
David McCall
Daddy, you will forever hold your peace.
David McCall
You're not dancing.
Nicole Walker
I know.
John Bennett
I've found my car keys. What's going on? (Looks in the corner) Is that a shit?
John Bennett
I've found my car keys. What's going on? Is that a shit?
Tommy Corn
Once you realize the universe sucks, you've got nothing to lose.
"Irish" Mickey Ward
Cut me Mick!
Ted
[dressed in a suit and tie] I look stupid.
Ted
I look stupid.
John Bennett
No you don't, you look dapper.
Ted
John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.
Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler
I'm seventeen
Jack Horner
You're a seventeen year old piece of gold.
Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler
Yeah, right.
Det. Terry Hoitz
Bye Shiela!
Daniel Lugo
Snatch that Cabbage Patch!
Micky Ward
I'm the one fighting, I know what I need.
Charlene Fleming
And you need Dicky?
Micky Ward
I want Dicky back. And I want you, Charlene, and I want O'Keefe, and my family.
Charlene Fleming
You can't do that to us.
John Bennett
You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock I would chew it of to get you free. Is that cannibalism?
Lori
Only if you swallow
Lori
Only if you swallow.
"Irish" Mickey Ward
(to george ward) what you doing running in hear like a silverback fucking gorilla.?
"Irish" Mickey Ward
[to george ward] What you doing running in hear like a silverback fucking gorilla?
John Bennett
Hello? 911? I need the police right way! This guy took my teddy bear!........ Hello?
John Bennett
[calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear! [pause]
John Bennett
[calling 911] This guy took my teddy bear!
John's Dad
GET MY GUN!!!
John's Dad
GET MY GUN!
John's Dad
Helen, get my gun!
Young Ted's Voice
Is it a hugging gun?
Young John
Dad! No!
John Bennett
Is it a hugging gun?
Ted
Is it a hugging gun?
Thomas
That's me and Skeritt
John Bennett
Wow
Thomas
Goddamn right wow.
Ted
Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John Bennett
Fucking right.
Ted
Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder song.
John Bennett
Alright.
John Bennett
Ted: [singing] When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "Fuck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!" [blow raspberries]
John Bennett
Ted: [singing] When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / 'Fuck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me thunder / Cause you're just God's farts!' [blow raspberries]
Ted
Lets get stoned.
John Bennett
You get the job and we can smoke this afterwards.
John Bennett
Your my best friend Ted cause I don't have any, because I didn't have any in school and was picked on an bullied pretty much everyday.
Adrian Doorbal
what kind of warehouse did you say your friend had ?
Adrian Doorbal
What kind of warehouse did you say your friend had ?
Daniel Lugo
just a storage one why?
Daniel Lugo
Just a storage one why?
Adrian Doorbal
cause theres a whole lotta homo shit in here.. a whole lotta homo shit
Adrian Doorbal
Cause theres a whole lotta homo shit in here... A whole lotta homo shit.
Ted
It's called "Mind Rape", it's actually pretty mellow.
Ted
It's called 'Mind Rape', it's actually pretty mellow.
John Bennett
It doesn't sound very mellow.
Ted
Well he only had three other batches: "Gorilla Panic", "They're coming! They're coming!" and something called "This Is Permanent"... Go on, spark it up!
Ted
Well he only had three other batches: 'Gorilla Panic', 'They're coming! They're coming!' and something called 'This Is Permanent'... Go on, spark it up!
John Bennett
Oh, I got you, motherfucker! I got you! [Ted laughs]
John Bennett
[John pokes a lobster head from out the door] Rawr!
Ted
Hahaha!
John Bennett
Who lives here? I'm comin' to get who lives here! You owe me lobster money!
Ted
Ahahaha! That's my buddy Johnny. Not the lobster, the guy runnin' it.
Det. Terry Hoitz
If you touch him one more time, I'll beat you with Allen's head.
Det. Allen Gamble
No he's won't. He's just using a hyperbole but that's a really weird example.
Sergeant Troy Barlow
Are we shooting people or what?
Det. Terry Hoitz
What is it with you and hot women?
Captain Queenan
You're a worker. You rise fast.
Sergeant Dignam
Like a 12-year-old's dick.
Captain Ellerby
Go fuck yourself.
Sergeant Dignam
I'm tired from fucking your wife.
Captain Ellerby
How is your mother?
Sergeant Dignam
Good, she's tired from fucking my father.
Sergeant Dignam
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.
Daena
What tribe are you from?
Leo Davidson
United States Air Force, and I'm going back to it.
Leo Davidson
How the hell did they get like this?
Daena
What other way would they be?
Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler
[standing in the kitchen at work with Jack] So, you want five or ten?
Jack Horner
What?
Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler
Well, if you just wanna see me jack off, it's ten. But if you just wanna look at it, it's only five.
Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler
When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so powerful... It says, "Dirk Diggler."
Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler
When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so powerful... It says, 'Dirk Diggler.'
Elliot Moore
Why won't somebody give me a goddamn second?!?
Elliot Moore
Why won't somebody give me a goddamn second?
Lori Collins
Can I give you a ride home?
John Bennett
No thanks, I'll walk. I might get raped but if I do I'll know it's my fault because of what I'm wearing.
Sergeant Dignam
Whoopdee-fuckin-doo
Sergeant Dignam
Whoopdee-fuckin-doo.
Det. Terry Hoitz
I'm a peacock and I gotta fly
Det. Terry Hoitz
I'm a peacock and I gotta fly.
Captain Ellerby
Go fuck yourself
Captain Ellerby
Go fuck yourself.
Sergeant Dignam
Well I would but I'm tired from fucking your wife
Sergeant Dignam
Well I would but I'm tired from fucking your wife.
Captain Ellerby
How's your mother?
Sergeant Dignam
Good. She's tired from fucking my father
Sergeant Dignam
Good. She's tired from fucking my father.
Senator Charles F. Meachum
I am a US Senator
Senator Charles F. Meachum
I am a United States Senator!
Bob Lee Swagger
Exactly
Bob Lee Swagger
Exactly.
Sergeant Dignam
I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy
Sergeant Dignam
I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.
Sergeant Dignam
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.
Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler
What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.
Frank
Nobodyâ??s ever spoken to me like that before.
Frank
Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before.
Ted
Thatâ??s because their mouths were full of your wifeâ??s box.
Ted
That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box.
John Bennett
Youâ??re hired.
John Bennett
You're hired.
Ted
Shit.
Det. Terry Hoitz
Christinith!! You idiot! You come to our house, you get my wife's name right!
Det. Terry Hoitz
Christinith! You idiot! You come to our house, you get my wife's name right!
Hal
Christinith! You idiot! You come to our house, you get my wife's name right!
Ted
Why are you crying?
John Bennett
My dick got squished by the tv.
Det. Terry Hoitz
lf we were in the wild, l would attack you.Even if you weren't in my food chain, l would go out of my way to attack you.lf l were a lion, and you were a tuna, l would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! And then l'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Det. Terry Hoitz
lf we were in the wild, l would attack you. Even if you weren't in my food chain, l would go out of my way to attack you. lf l were a lion, and you were a tuna, l would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! And then l'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Det. Allen Gamble
Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? Lions don't like water. lf you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense.But you find yourself in the ocean,20-foot waves, l'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa,coming up against a full-grown,800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? You lose that battle. You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated.
Det. Allen Gamble
Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? Lions don't like water. lf you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense.But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves, l'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa,coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? You lose that battle. You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated.
Det. Terry Hoitz
Yeah?
Det. Allen Gamble
And said, ''You know what?''Lion tastes good.Let's go get some more lion.' 'We've developed a systemo establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
Det. Allen Gamble
And said, 'ou know what?' Lion tastes good. Let's go get some more lion.' 'We've developed a systemo establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
Det. Terry Hoitz
How you gonna do that?
Det. Allen Gamble
We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. lt's not gonna be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45, no problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned.
Sergeant Dignam
How fucked up are you?
Ted
Why are you crying?
John Bennett
My dick got squished by the tv!
John Bennett
My junk got squished by the TV!
Det. Terry Hoitz
Stop humming that song!
John Bennett
Sometimes I look back at that Christmas day when I wished for you, and I think that I should have gotten a Teddy Ruxpin!
Ted
Say that one more time.
John Bennett
Teddy. Ruxpin!
Det. Allen Gamble
You are under arrest. Anything you do or say can be used umm
Det. Allen Gamble
You are under arrest. Anything you do or say can be used umm.
Det. Terry Hoitz
As a flotation device.
Det. Allen Gamble
Wow, you know what that's very funny.
Ted
Oh hey listen, try this. I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.
John Bennett
What is this?
Ted
It's called "Mind Rape", it's actually pretty mellow.
Ted
It's called 'Mind Rape', it's actually pretty mellow.
John Bennett
It doesn't sound very mellow.
Ted
Well he only had three other batches: "Gorilla Panic", "They're coming! They're coming!" and something called "This Is Permanent"... Go on, spark it up!
Ted
Well he only had three other batches: 'Gorilla Panic', 'They're coming! They're coming!' and something called 'This Is Permanent'... Go on, spark it up!
Ted
"Lori was right about you: you cannot take responsibility for anything that goes on in your life."
Ted
Lori was right about you: you cannot take responsibility for anything that goes on in your life.
John Bennett
"Oh, and you can?"
John Bennett
Oh, and you can?
Ted
"I dont have to, Im a fucking teddy bear."
Ted
I dont have to, Im a fucking teddy bear.