Dustin Hoffman

Dustin Hoffman

  • Highest Rated: 100% Death of a Salesman (1985)
  • Lowest Rated: 9% The Cobbler (2015)
  • Birthday: Aug 8, 1937
  • Birthplace: Los Angeles, California, USA
  • The emergence of Dustin Hoffman in 1967 heralded the arrival of a new era of Hollywood stardom. Diminutive, wiry and unassuming, he was anything but the usual matinee idol, yet he quickly distinguished himself among the most popular and celebrated screen performers of his generation. A notoriously difficult talent famous for his battles with directors as well as his total immersion in his performances, Hoffman further battled against stereotypes by accepting roles which cast him firmly as an antihero, often portraying troubled, even tragic figures rarely destined for a happy ending. By extension, he broke new ground for all actors -- not only were stars no longer limited to heroic, larger-than-life characterizations, but in his wake virtually anyone, regardless of their seeming physical limitations, could attain success on the big screen. Born August 8, 1937 in Los Angeles, Hoffman originally studied to become a doctor, but later focused his attentions on acting, performing regularly at the Pasadena Playhouse alongside fellow aspirant Gene Hackman. Upon relocating to New York City, he worked a series of odd jobs, landing the occasional small television role and later touring in summer stock. Frustrated by his lack of greater success, Hoffman once even left acting to teach, but in 1960 he won a role in the off-Broadway production Yes Is for a Very Young Man. After 1961's A Cook for Mr. General, however, he continued to struggle, and did not reappear onstage for several years, in the meantime studying with Lee Strasberg at the Actors' Studio and becoming a dedicated Method actor. Finally, in 1964 Hoffman appeared in a string of theatrical projects including productions of Waiting for Godot and The Dumbwaiter. Two years later he won a Best Actor Obie for his work in The Journey of the Fifth Horse. In 1967 Hoffman made his film debut with a tiny role in the feature The Tiger Makes Out, a similarly brief appearance in Un Dollaro per Sette Vigliachi followed later that same year, as did a highly-acclaimed turn in the theatrical farce Eh? It was here that he was first spotted by director Mike Nichols, who cast him in the lead role in his 1967 black comedy The Graduate. Though 30 at the time of filming, Hoffman was perfectly cast as an alienated college student, and his work won him not only an Oscar nomination but also made him a hugely popular performer with the youth market. His status as a burgeoning counterculture hero was solidified thanks to his work in John Schlesinger's 1969 Academy Award winner Midnight Cowboy, which earned Hoffman a second Oscar bid. While the follow-up, the romance John and Mary, was a disappointment, in 1970 he starred in Arthur Penn's Little Big Man, delivering a superb portrayal of an Indian fighter -- a role which required him to age 100 years. Directed by his longtime friend Ulu Grosbard, 1971's Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? was Hoffman's first outright failure. He next starred in Sam Peckinpah's harrowing Straw Dogs, a film which earned harsh criticism during its original release but which, like much of Peckinpah's work, was later the subject of much favorable reassessment. In 1973 Hoffman co-starred with Steve McQueen in the prison drama Papillon, which returned him to the ranks of box-office success before he starred as the legendary stand-up comedian Lenny Bruce in Bob Fosse's 1974 biography Lenny, a stunning portrayal which earned him a third Academy Award nomination. Another real-life figure followed as Hoffman portrayed Carl Bernstein opposite Robert Redford's Bob Woodward in All the President's Men, Alan J. Pakula's riveting docudrama on the Watergate break-in. Next, Hoffman reteamed with director Schlesinger for 1976's Marathon Man, which cast him alongside Laurence Olivier and scored another major hit. The1978 Straight Time, a pet project helmed by Grosbard, was critically acclaimed but a financial disappointment, and 1979's Agatha pleased neithe

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

93% The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Actor 2017
62% The Program Actor 2016
87% Kung Fu Panda 3 Shifu $128.4M 2016
45% Boychoir Master Carvelle $0.2M 2015
9% The Cobbler Abraham Simkin 2015
No Score Yet Roald Dahl's Esio Trot Actor 2015
87% Chef Riva $23.7M 2014
80% Quartet Executive Producer Director $18.1M 2013
97% Paul Williams Still Alive Actor $38.1K 2012
No Score Yet Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters Shifu 2011
81% Kung Fu Panda 2 Master Shifu $165.3M 2011
79% Barney's Version Izzy Panofsky $7.6M 2011
9% Little Fockers Bernie Focker $148.4M 2010
No Score Yet Kung Fu Panda Holiday Special Actor 2010
67% Jews And Baseball: An American Love Story Narrator 2010
86% Who is Harry Nilsson (And Why is Everybody Talkin' About Him)? Actor $30.3K 2010
94% Visual Acoustics: The Modernism of Julius Shulman Narrator 2009
71% Last Chance Harvey Harvey Shine $14.9M 2009
No Score Yet Against the Tide Narrator 2009
57% The Tale of Despereaux Roscuro $50.9M 2008
No Score Yet Kung Fu Panda: Secrets Of The Scroll Shifu / Warrior 2008
No Score Yet Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Furious Five Shifu 2008
87% Kung Fu Panda Shifu $215.4M 2008
38% Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium Mr. Magorium $32.2M 2007
83% Trumbo Actor $28.6K 2007
59% Perfume: The Story of a Murderer Guiseppe Baldini $2.2M 2006
73% Stranger Than Fiction Professor Jules Hilbert $40.2M 2006
25% The Lost City Meyer Lansky $2.5M 2005
35% Racing Stripes Tucker $49.2M 2005
39% Meet the Fockers Bernie Focker $279.2M 2004
83% Finding Neverland Charles Frohman 2004
63% I Heart Huckabees Bernard Jaffe $12.8M 2004
No Score Yet Tales Of Wonder: Music And Animation Actor 2004
73% Runaway Jury Wendall Rohr $49.3M 2003
69% Confidence King $12.2M 2003
No Score Yet Festival Pass with Chris Gore Actor 2002
63% Moonlight Mile Ben Floss 2002
91% The Kid Stays in the Picture Actor $1.4M 2002
No Score Yet Goldwyn: The Man and His Movies Actor 2001
No Score Yet Goldwyn: The Man and His Movies Narrator 2001
No Score Yet The Directors Interviewee 2000
No Score Yet Hollywood Screen Tests Actor 2000
30% The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc The Conscience 1999
No Score Yet The Devil's Arithmetic Executive Producer 1999
72% A Walk on the Moon Producer 1999
12% Sphere Dr. Norman Goodman 1998
85% Wag the Dog Stanley Motss 1997
36% Mad City Max Brackett 1997
73% Sleepers Danny Snyder 1996
74% American Buffalo Teach 1996
57% Outbreak Sam Daniels 1995
65% Hero Bernie Laplante 1992
26% Hook Capt. James Hook 1991
38% Billy Bathgate Dutch Schultz 1991
No Score Yet Remember Pearl Harbor Actor 1991
No Score Yet Wish for Wings That Work Actor 1991
No Score Yet Opus & Bill - A Wish For Wings That Work Actor 1991
No Score Yet Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt Actor 1990
63% Dick Tracy Mumbles 1990
38% Family Business Vito 1989
90% Rain Man Raymond Babbitt 1988
38% Ishtar Chuck Clarke 1987
No Score Yet Private Conversations: On the Set of 'Death of a Salesman' Actor 1985
100% Death of a Salesman Willy Loman 1985
57% Terror in the Aisles Actor 1984
90% Tootsie Michael/Dorothy 1982
No Score Yet The AFI Lifetime Achievement Awards: Jimmy Stewart Actor 1980
89% Kramer vs. Kramer Ted Kramer 1979
71% Agatha Wally Stanton 1979
75% Straight Time Producer Max Dembo 1978
80% Marathon Man Babe Levy 1976
93% All the President's Men Carl Bernstein 1976
95% Lenny Lenny Bruce 1974
83% Papillon Dega 1973
No Score Yet Alfredo, Alfredo Alfredo Sbisà Alfredo 1972
87% Straw Dogs David 1971
No Score Yet Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? Georgie Soloway 1971
No Score Yet The Point Narrator 1971
96% Little Big Man Jack Crabb 1970
50% John and Mary John 1969
91% Midnight Cowboy Enrico `Ratso' Rizzo 1969
No Score Yet Madigan's Millions Jason Fister 1968
88% The Graduate Benjamin Braddock 1967
No Score Yet The Tiger Makes Out Hap 1967
No Score Yet The Star Wagon Actor 1967
No Score Yet The Journey of the Fifth Horse Dmitri Zoditch 1966

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2012
  • 2011
  • 2007
No Score Yet Charlie Rose
2013-2017
Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden
2015
Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest
  • 2017
No Score Yet Finding Your Roots With Henry Louis Gates Jr.
2012
Appearing
  • 2016
50% Medici
2016
Giovanni de' Medici
  • 2016
No Score Yet American Masters
2001
Narrator Appearing
  • 2016
  • 2001
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest
  • 2013
  • 2011
  • 2006
  • 2003
82% Luck
2011-2012
Producer Chester "Ace" Bernstein
  • 2012
  • 2011
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Guest
  • 2009
  • 2006
  • 2005
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest
  • 2006
No Score Yet 60 Minutes
1999
Appearing
  • 2005
85% The Simpsons
1989
Voice
  • 1991

QUOTES FROM Dustin Hoffman CHARACTERS

Shifu
If You only do what you can, You will never be more than you are now.
Shifu
Time is just an illusion, there is only the now.
Ted Kramer
I came home to share with my wife one of the five best days of my life, and she tells me that she doesn't want to live with me anymore! Do you know what she's done?
Margaret Phelps
Yes, she loused up one of the five best days of your life.
Chuck Clarke
Gaddafi, is that near here?
Babe Levy
Is it Szell's?
Mr. Maguire
There is a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?
Benjamin Braddock
Yes, I will.
Mr. Maguire
Okay. Enough said. That's a deal.
Mr. Braddock
Have you thought about graduate school?
Benjamin Braddock
No.
Mr. Braddock
Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?
Benjamin Braddock
You got me.
Benjamin Braddock
It's like I was playing some kind of game, but the rules don't make any sense to me. They're being made up by all the wrong people. I mean no one makes them up. They seem to make themselves up.
Mr. Braddock
What makes you think she wants to marry you?
Benjamin Braddock
Oh, she doesn't. To be perfectly honest, she doesn't like me.
Elaine Robinson
Good night.
Benjamin Braddock
Are we getting married tomorrow?
Elaine Robinson
No...
Benjamin Braddock
Day after tomorrow?
Elaine Robinson
I don't know. Maybe we are, and maybe we're not.
Benjamin Braddock
Mrs. Robinson, I can't do this anymore.
Mrs. Robinson
You what?
Benjamin Braddock
This is all terribly wrong.
Mrs. Robinson
Do you find me undesirable?
Benjamin Braddock
Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends. I mean that.
Benjamin Braddock
Look, maybe we could do something else together. Mrs. Robinson, would you like to go to a movie?
Benjamin Braddock
Listen to me. What happened between Mrs. Robinson and me was nothing. It didn't mean anything. We might just as well have been shaking hands.
Mr. Braddock
Shaking hands? Well, that's not saying much for my wife, is it?
Benjamin Braddock
Mrs. Robinson, if you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange.
Mrs. Robinson
Benjamin, I am not trying to seduce you.
Benjamin Braddock
I know that, but please, Mrs. Robinson, this is difficult...
Mrs. Robinson
Would you like me to seduce you?
Benjamin Braddock
What?
Mrs. Robinson
Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Benjamin Braddock
I'm going home now. I apologize for what I said. I hope you can forget it, but I'm going home right now.
Benjamin Braddock
Where did you do it?
Mrs. Robinson
In his car.
Benjamin Braddock
What kind of car was it?
Mrs. Robinson
Oh, come on now.
Benjamin Braddock
No, I really want to know.
Mrs. Robinson
A Ford.
Benjamin Braddock
Goddamn, that's great. So old Elaine Robinson got started in a Ford.
Benjamin Braddock
I'm just...
Mr. Braddock
Worried?
Benjamin Braddock
Well...
Mr. Braddock
About what?
Benjamin Braddock
I guess about my future.
Mr. Braddock
What about it?
Benjamin Braddock
I don't know, I want it to be...Different.
Benjamin Braddock
Well, I want you to know how much I appreciate this. Really.
Mrs. Robinson
The number.
Benjamin Braddock
What?
Mrs. Robinson
The room number, Benjamin. I think you ought to tell me that.
Benjamin Braddock
Oh, you're absolutely right. It's 568.
Mrs. Robinson
Thank you.
Benjamin Braddock
You're welcome. Well, I'll see you later, Mrs. Robinson.
Harold Crick
You just said ten seconds ago, you wouldn't help me.
Professor Jules Hilbert
It's been a very revealing ten seconds.
Po
But I just got kung fu
Master Shifu
Now you have to protect it!
Joan's conscience
I can't save this movie. I can only stink it up even more.
Max Brackett
I fooled you into thinking I'm a great actor.
Max Brackett
I am a profoundly boring actor.
Stanley Motss
Good news he's alive! ( Heres gunshot ) Strike that!
Stanley Motss
Good news he's alive! Strike that!
Mr. Braddock
Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half baked.
Benjamin Braddock
No, it's not. It's completely baked.
Benjamin Braddock
Listen to me. What happened between Mrs. Robinson and me was nothing. It didn't mean anything. We might just as well have been shaking hands.
Mr. Robinson
Shaking hands? Well, that's not saying much for my wife, is it?
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits, tips?
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits tips?
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
I'm walking here! I'm walking here!
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
The two natural items to sustain life are sunlight and coconut milk. Did you know that?
Billy Kramer
I like Boston.
Ted Kramer
Boston? Why do you like Boston?
Billy Kramer
'Cause Mommy's from Boston.
Ted Kramer
Is that what you think? No. That's not it, Billy. Your mom loves you very much... and the reason she left has nothing to do with you. I don't know if this will make sense, but I'll try to explain it to you. I think the reason why Mommy left... was because for a long time... I kept trying to make her be a certain kind of person. A certain kind of wife that I thought she was supposed to be. And she just wasn't like that. She was... She just wasn't like that. I think that she tried for so long to make me happy... and when she couldn't, she tried to talk to me about it. But I wasn't listening. I was too busy, too wrapped up... just thinking about myself. And I thought that anytime I was happy, she was happy. But I think underneath she was very sad. Mommy stayed here longer than she wanted because she loves you so much. And the reason why Mommy couldn't stay anymore... was because she couldn't stand me. She didn't leave because of you. She left because of me. Go to sleep now because it's really late, okay? Good night. Sleep tight
Billy Kramer
We need cereal
Billy Kramer
We need cereal.
Ted Kramer
Okay, what color?
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.
Joe Buck
Well, I can't say all that
Joe Buck
Well, I can't say all that.
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
Rico, then.
Po
No, master! Don't die!
Master Shifu
*closes eyes*
Po
NO!
Master Shifu
I'm not dying you idiot! I'm relaxing!
Jack Banning
Dad, I want to go home.
Captain James Hook
What are you talking about? You are home.
Joe Buck
[wearing glasses] Guess who I am?
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
Who?
Joe Buck
[takes off glasses and laughs] It's me!
Party Guest
[to Ratso] I'm just gonna lick the sweat off of you.
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
JUST GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!
Party Guest
WELL, YOU LOOK HOT!
Party Guest
What's the matter? How did you get crippled?
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
I slipped on a banana peel. Come on, I gotta sit down; I feel crummy.
Party Guest
What's the matter?
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
Take your hands off of me!
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
[about his failing health] I'm fallin' apart here!
At the Party
[after Joe and Rizzo show up] Well, if you need anything, there's beer and stuff behind you. Anything you want.
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
Oh, Jesus!
At the Party
[random partygoer describing his hair] My hair - it's fur, you know? It's tendrils reaching out into space and times. I've watched it touch many stars.
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
Wackos. They're all wackos.
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
I fell so completely in love with these shoes, I bought enough pairs to last my whole lifetime. This is my last pair.
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
There are a million things one might do with a block of wood. But what do you think might happen if someone, just once, believed in it?
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
Turn the page, continue reading, and let the next story begin...
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
A stroke, you unbrookable ninny. The only stroke I have ever had is one of genius.
Molly Mahoney the Composer
Are you dying?
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
Light bulbs die, my sweet. I will depart.
Molly Mahoney the Composer
Thirty-seven seconds. Great, well done. Now we wait.
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
No, we breathe, we pulse, we regenerate. our hearts beat, our minds create, our souls ingest. Thirty-seven seconds well used is a lifetime.
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest 'He died.'
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written 'He dies.' That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is 'He dies.' It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest 'He died.'
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written 'He dies.' That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is 'He dies.' It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words 'He dies.' but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest 'He died.'
Mr. Edward Magorium Avid Shoe Wearer
Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.
Stanley Motss
Money? You think I did this for money?? I want the credit.
Stanley Motss
Money? You think I did this for money? I want the credit.
Charlie Babbitt
Did you fart?
Raymond Babbitt
Yes I did.
Charlie Babbitt
How can you stand that?
Raymond Babbitt
No I don't mind it.
Raymond Babbitt
Kmart sucks
Raymond Babbitt
Kmart sucks.
Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo
I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here!
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.
Master Shifu
Tai Lung has escaped from Chorh-Gom Prison!
Oogway
Oh, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
Master Shifu
Tai Lung has escaped from Chor Gom prison!
Oogway
That IS bad news!
Captain James Hook
MY JACK!!!
Captain James Hook
MY JACK!
Peter Banning/Peter Pan
My jack...
Captain James Hook
No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move Smee, not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee.
Smee
Oh, not again.
Captain James Hook
This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee, try to stop me. Smee, you'd better get up off your ass. Get over here, Smee!
Mrs. Robinson
'' Just because you happen to be inadequate. ''
Mrs. Robinson
Just because you happen to be inadequate.
Benjamin Braddock
'' Inadequate ! ''
Benjamin Braddock
Inadequate!
Mrs. Robinson
'' Well I guess I... ''
Mrs. Robinson
Well I guess I...
Benjamin Braddock
'' DON'T MOVE ! ''
Benjamin Braddock
DON'T MOVE!
Professor Jules Hilbert
Aren't you glad you're not a golem?
Harold Crick
Yes. I am glad I'm not a golem.
Master Shifu
I'm not dying, you idiot!
Master Shifu
Yeah.
Benjamin Braddock
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?
Harold Crick
Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me.
Professor Jules Hilbert
Right, good. Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
Professor Jules Hilbert
Aren't you relieved to know you're not a Golem?
Harold Crick
Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a Golem.
Professor Jules Hilbert
Good. [silence]
Professor Jules Hilbert
[sighs] Do you have magical powers?
Professor Jules Hilbert
You are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's Monster...or a Golem.
Professor Jules Hilbert
Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards.
Joan's conscience
You saw what you wanted to see.
Joan's conscience
In the end it is you who abandoned him.
Joan's conscience
When battle starts the pleasure begins. When do that pleasure begins with that sword in your hand?
Po
You wanna get something to eat?
Master Shifu
[sighing] ... Yeah.
Raymond Babbitt
C-H-A-R-L-I-E. My main man.
Raymond Babbitt
We have pepperoni pizza for dinner Monday nights.
Susannah
Pizza? You get pizza in an institution?
Raymond Babbitt
Monday night is Italian night.
Raymond Babbitt
K-mart sucks.
Susannah
How was that?
Raymond Babbitt
Wet.
Raymond Babbitt
Lights out at eleven.
Charlie Babbitt
Yeah well, new rules!
Dr. (uncredited)
Are you autistic?
Raymond Babbitt
I don't think so. No, definitely not.
Susannah
You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie Babbitt
Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond?
Raymond Babbitt
Yeah.
Charlie Babbitt
Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago.
Jeff
Mike, I really appreciate you're doing this, but it is just for the money. Isn't it? It's not just so you can wear these little outfits.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
I'm not even gonna answer that.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
I'm a potentially great actress.
April
We're all so grateful to you.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
For?
April
For your help and advice.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
Well, I really think of you, ahem, you all as my daughters and what kind of mother would I be, if I didn't give my girls tits. Tips. It's tips.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
Sandy, I want you.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
Oh my goodness!!
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
Oh my goodness!
April
What's wrong?
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
I have to kiss Dr Brewster.
April
Oh yeah. He kisses all the women on the show. We call him 'the Tongue'.
George Fields
Michael, will you wait outside, please? I am talking to the coast.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
This is a coast too, George. New York is a coast too.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
I am a little nervous.
Julie
Just think of them something friendly.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
What?
Julie
Like a firing squad.
Captain James Hook
I beg your pardon? .... You must be joking. Haha! It would seem Peter Pan has a real problem with *heights*.
Captain James Hook
I beg your pardon? You must be joking. Haha! It would seem Peter Pan has a real problem with *heights*.
Lenny Bruce
l'm not anti-Christ or anti-religion, l just think it's encouraging that people are leaving the Church and going back to God.
Master Shifu
Unless Shen is stopped, this could be the end of Kung Fu.
Po
Oh, hohohohoho. Awesome! How did you... do that?!
Master Shifu
Inner peace.
Po
Inner peace? That's cool! Inner peace of what?
Po
How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?
Master Shifu
Remember, Dragon Warrior, anything is possible when you have inner peace.
Jack Crabb
"Might I ask who I are addressin'?
Jack Crabb
Might I ask who I are addressin'?
Bernard Jaffe
No time for infinity, have to piece together a theory?
Bernard Jaffe
No time for infinity? Gotta piece together a theory?
Master Shifu
Unless he is stopped, this could be the end of Kung Fu.
Master Shifu
Panda, we do not wash our pits in the pool of sacred tears.
Master Shifu
Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.
Mr. Maguire
Ben.
Benjamin Braddock
Will you excuse me? (turning around) Mr. Maguire.
Benjamin Braddock
Will you excuse me? [turning around] Mr. Maguire.
Mr. Maguire
(shaking his head and smiling) Ben.
Mr. Maguire
[shaking his head and smiling] Ben.
Benjamin Braddock
Mr. Maguire.
Harvey Shine
Today is tomorrow
Harvey Shine
Today is tomorrow.
Master Shifu
[pleased] It seems you have found inner peace, [unhappily] and at such a young age.
David
Jesus, I got 'em all.
David
Jesus. I got 'em all!
Tai Lung
So where is this Po? [Laughs] Did I scare him off?
Master Shifu
This battle is between you and me.
Tai Lung
So, that is how it's going to be...
Master Shifu
That is how it must be.
George Fields
You're insane Michael.
Michael Dorsey/Dorothy Michaels
No I'm not. I'm employed